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Drew: You have friends and I envy that.
Jake: You're welcome to share my friends.
Drew: *looks at Hailey and Zander*
Drew: I don't want those.
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Zoey: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.
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Jake: Drew, you need to react when people cry!
Drew: I did. I rolled my eyes.
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Zander: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Luke: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Zander: But you're always acting stupid?
Luke: ...
Luke: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.
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Jake: Why am I the bad guy?
Zander: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.
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Zander: I've invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...
Milly, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Zander: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.
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Lia: So what are your political beliefs?
Henry, awkwardly trying to impress them: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.
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Seán: How did you break your leg?
Jake: Do you see those porch stairs?
Seán: Yes.
Jake: I didn't.
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Jake: Never gonna make you cry!
Hailey: Never gonna say goodbye!
Jake: Never gonna tell a lie—
Zander: I will hurt you.
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Milly: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?
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Henry: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Drew: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will cut you.
Henry: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better.
Drew: ...
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Milly: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.
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Zander: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?
Hailey: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.
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Jake: We're kind of missing something guys.
Hailey: Cohesion?
Luke: Teamwork?
Seán: A general sense of what we're doing?
Zander: And Milly is not here.
Hailey: Oh, and that, yeah.
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Drew: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.
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Stacy: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.
Daisy: You mean you stabbed them?
Stacy: They ran into my knife.
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Drew: I've only had Jake for a day and a half but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
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Zoey: I have locked Jake in a cage designed by their own art. Oh, they have been well and truly hoist by their own petard.
Maria: Could you put it another way? I didn't understand a word of that.
Zoey: I'm blackmailing them.
Maria: Oh, happy days.
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Zander: Did Luke just tell me they loved me for the first time?
Hailey: Yeah, they did.
Zander: And did I just do finger guns back?
Hailey: Yeah, you did.
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Zander: Caw caw, motherfuckers.
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Jake: Do I least have a chance to explain myself?
Zander: This is America, so nope!
Jake: This isn't America, this is England!
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Jake: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*
Hailey: Jake, what did you think a tiger shark was?
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Zander: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
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Zander: Do you ever wonder why you're still single?
Milly, eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar with a spoon: Yeah... I mean, I'm perfect! Who wouldn't want to date me?
Zander, sighing: I can name a few people...
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Jake: You use emoji's like a straight person.
Zander: That's literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.
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Milly, upon learning Seán did a magic trick: So you're not magic?
Seán: Well, not really.
Milly: You're just a liar.
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Jake: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
Zander: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.
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Daisy: Hopefully Zander has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Zander: Oh, shut up and die Daisy.
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Jake: Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.
Jake: Oh no, where did it go?
Zander: Jake WHAT THE FUCK?!
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Hailey: So, what's it like living with Zander?
Luke: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."
Hailey: ...
Luke: I love them so much.
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✮ Tmf incorrect quotes ✮
RandomI used a incorrect quotes generator and incorrect quotes I found on Pinterest. There is swearing, and mentions triggering words
