Borrowed Time

Chapter Eight

Taking an 'Am I gay?' Quiz at 11:30 on a school night felt a bit too middle school-esque for Juliette, but she still felt the need to do it. While the results might not be 100% accurate, it could help nudge her down the path, whichever one it was.... And she knew which one she was praying that it was... the path of least resistance. She wanted it to be over, to already have the knowledge in her minds eye, but she'd only just started it, and the first question already made her want to crawl out of her skin. Why was she taking it? God, that should be clear... but her finger still hovered over the answer that would give her what she wanted... but she clicked the one that made the most sense with her situation... Having fantasies about the same sex... it was the same from there, almost picking the answer that would make her life easier, and then picking the one that actually felt like it fit her... and the results?

Not at all what she wanted... She couldn't be gay, there was no way that it would be okay in her home, okay with her father... and it would make her relationship with Samantha even worse, if that was possible. Juliette didn't even think as she switched to her phone's keypad, typing in Shelby's number. Luckily, she picked up on the first ring.

"What's up? And how are you calling me? I thought for sure Samantha would take your phone after you got busted for going to the party." Shelby said, and Juliette sighed and nodded. She'd done her absolute best, but her father had stood his ground for once, and it hadn't gone through. The house had been like a silent war zone ever since, with Samantha somehow making utter silence into something completely hostile.

"My dad talked her down, said that that kind of punishment doesn't do anything and that he still wants me to be a regular kid even though he does what he does, it was actually a very interesting moment to see." She explained, and for a moment Shelby was silent, no doubt grinning in the dark quiet of her room. Honestly, she was surprised that anyone could hate Samantha more than she did, but Shelby had claimed that title a long time ago, ever since Shelby had caught Samantha and her father flirting at her mother's funeral... she'd know it was going to happen and she'd warned Juliette, but she hadn't heeded the warning.

"Cool... So..." Get to the point. She should get to the point of why she called in the first place.

"Do you think I'm gay?" Juliette asked, the words rushing from her mouth before she could stop them. She flinched away from the phone, not knowing how Shelby was going to respond to her question... it could be anything, she could call her disgusting... that was all her brain was able to think of.

"Uh... Huh?" She sounded confused. Juliette took a deep breath and stared up at her ceiling. Why couldn't someone just tell her the answer to this? Introspection was a damn mindfield.

"Do you think I'm gay. It's a very straightforward question." Juliette said, and Shelby sighed into the receiver. God, as if they hadn't had a very similar conversation nearly six years ago... only the other way around... and it had been a lot more stressful.

"Jules, that's not something I can answer, it's so nuanced-." No it wasn't. Shelby never had a problem speaking her mind, this was not the time to develop one... Plus, she was telling on herself just by refusing to answer... omitting the truth was the same as giving an answer.

"Okay, so you do." Juliette said flatly, and Shelby sighed. Why hadn't she just said it in the first place?

"I think there's a very large possibility of it, yes." Shit. That wasn't good, even if she'd known it was coming... she was hoping for something out of left field... Maybe refusing to answer could've meant no.

"Why? Is it just because I've never dated a boy? Because I know plenty of people who didn't date in high school who are happily married and heterosexual, maybe I'm just one of those, maybe I'm just a late bloomer." Shelby didn't respond right away, and Juliette felt like a rubber band was tightening around her lungs... Why wasn't she speaking? One of them needed to fill the air with words, and currently it wasn't going to be her, she'd just said everything that'd been in her head.