Borrowed Time

Chapter Seventy Five

Juliette's heart had been in her throat ever since they'd left Shelby's family's house... Luckily, the restaurant that they were meeting her grandparents at wasn't that far away, so the heart palpitations hadn't been going on for that long. She'd taken to checking her map over and over again just to feel like she was in control of something... Granted? She was also in control of why she felt like this... If she hadn't decided that she was going to come out to her grandparents tonight, she'd probably be just fine... But she was hellbent on it, even if that thought was making her stomach turn.

"Can you stop checking your map like a goddamn madman?" Juliette jumped, not expecting Shelby to speak as she set down her phone. Luckily, when she glanced over she could see the understanding smile on Shelby's face. "You're making me insecure about my directional ability." Oh. Okay, she was joking, that was good. Juliette ran her hand through her hair and sighed, shaking her head... God, it was ridiculous that she was this nervous, but she was... What if this went terribly? The other one had gone terribly.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey." She reached over, patting Juliette's knee before she put her hand back on the wheel. "I've got this, we're gonna be fine." Obviously Juliette knew that Shelby was probably going the right way, but it never hurt to check...

"You're 100% sure we're going to the right place?" Juliette asked, and Shelby glanced over at her... The look might have been fleeting, but it communicated what she'd wanted to say quite well.

"Juliette. It's the same restaurant every year, I've never gotten it wrong before, what makes you think I'd start now?" Right, of course. Juliette slid down in her seat and sighed, shrugging as she picked at her wrist... She was scared in a way that she'd never been scared for one of these dinners before, it was crazy... Maybe it was just because the last one with grandparents present had gone so poorly, she couldn't imagine one going right now.

"I don't know... God, I'm just nervous." She sighed. It was nice that she didn't have to tell Shelby why she was nervous, Shelby knew the second that she said that she was.

"Hey, you were the one who decided to come out to them tonight, not me. I would've done it in a tasteful email." Email? How oddly specific... Why? Would that even work?

"Email? Really?" She asked, a small chuckle accompanying her voice as she straightened up again. Shelby smirked and nodded, like it was the funniest thing she'd said in a long time.

"Mhm. I mean, one side of my family believed a handwritten letter from someone they'd never met, so an email sounds like a safe bet." Shelby pointed out and... Yeah, when Juliette really thought about that, it made sense... Not being disowned due to a letter from someone else, that was fucking ridiculous, just her email comment.

"... Fair point." Okay... Maybe voicing why she was worried would help. "What if they react like my grandma did?" She asked, and Shelby snorted, waving her off like that wasn't even a thought in her mind... Why wasn't it a thought in her mind?

"I doubt it." Why? "Your grandparents donate to Planned Parenthood, they went to pride in the city... They're accepting people." Okay, so maybe she had a point, but what if this was a moment of cognitive dissonance? Like, they could accept the entire world but not her? God knows she did that to herself constantly.

"But what if they can't accept me? I've been there." Juliette said, remembering the backwards way she used to think about queerness, that everyone else could be and she didn't care and she'd be happy for them, but that she was a sinner if she so much as looked at a woman for too long.