Borrowed Time

Chapter 145

Esme had been nothing short of perfectly respectful around Juliette since their conversation after Shelby's party, and it was something that was eternally grateful, but at the same time I'd made her deeply anxious... Esme constantly reminded her that she didn't have to push herself to be physical again until she could enjoy it comfortably, but she was so fucking scared of Esme losing interest that it made her fucking stomach ache...

Granted, today was proving to her that she had nothing to worry about... She was pretty sure that Esme hadn't taken their eyes off of her the entire time that Chemistry class had been going on, which was a bit of a problem considering the fact that they had a test coming up in the next week and she knew that Esme needed to do well on it... As much as she was happy that she was still wanted, she also didn't want to be a distraction. She reached over, placing a hand over Esme's with a soft smile. She watched as Esme seemed to come back into themself, tearing their eyes away from her body with a guilty expression.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to stare." They mumbled, making her chuckle as she squeezed their hand... That was a lie. They didn't have to lie to her, she knew that if they still wanted her, there was still going to be evidence of desire even if the physical part of their relationship was moving slower right now because she couldn't get out of her own head...

Esme looking at her while she was fully clothed wasn't a problem, they saw that all the time... She just wasn't sure if her brain would be able to recognize them doing it to her naked body as real if it happened, that was part of why she was waiting... She didn't want to have a breakdown from something that she held so dear.

"You did mean to stare, it's okay." She said, watching a grimace spread over Esme's face as they squeezed her hand back, looking nervous with what she'd said, but she wasn't quite sure why that was the expression that was there.

Explain it to me, I want to understand.

"I should control myself more..." They chewed on their lip as they traced over the skin of her hand with their thumb, making her shiver... God, I still want you... I just don't want to break down while it's happening... If you keep touching me I think I'll die. "Letting my thoughts race like this isn't... Polite." Esme murmured, making Juliette's cheeks flush... Oh.

... How impolite? What are you thinking about in the middle of Chemistry class?

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, and Esme cleared their throat, looking down at the table sheepishly as they bounced their leg under it, their calf pressing against hers... It was so little, but it was enough to make Juliette crave Esme's touch... But she wasn't sure if she could handle it.

She didn't want to freak out on them and make Esme feel like they were doing anything wrong by being with her, because there was nothing about this that was Esme's fault, but she knew that Esme would still take on responsibility for things that were not their fault. It was practically in their blood.

"I don't wanna make you uncomfortable." Esme said, and Juliette nodded, leaning closer to them. It was very sweet that Esme was so worried about her, but she really did want to know.

Maybe hearing that they still desired her would help... It'd helped the day after, so why wouldn't it help now, right? She understood Esme's hesitation, but she still wanted to hear about what was going on in Esme's mind.

"You won't." Juliette placed her hand on their thigh under the table, noting the way that they squirmed under her touch, like they could hardly contain themself even now... Okay, so that's a pretty big ego boost... You can hardly control yourself around me, how am I not supposed to take that to heart? "Words won't do that right now, I promise." She insisted, and Esme cleared their throat as Juliette pulled her hand back from their thigh, watching the way that their expression was nothing short of begging for her right now.