Borrowed Time

Chapter 150

Even though she'd been feeling leagues better than when she'd scheduled the appointment, Esme had insisted that Juliette keep her therapy appointment because they'd figured it was better to get ahead of anything else that could crop up... And because as they so kindly pointed out, she was supposed to be going weekly, she was just ignoring the fact that she really needed to work on her issues so that she could move ahead with her recovery - It was just easier to ignore it and bottle it up until she completely broke down.

It was the American way - wait until you do something unhinged to get help, right? Technically she was just doing what most people around her did, so why was it so bad that she was doing it? The worst she could do was kill someone or end up in jail, but she really felt like that wasn't the worst thing in the entire world... She could have plenty of solitude, and she'd have to learn how to be alone.

It'd be like exposure therapy; something that Elena had insisted that she never do because she wasn't sure how well Juliette would come out the other side, and she might have a point, but it really cut down on Juliette's ability to self-sabotage which was always annoying... Finally letting herself have sex with Esme again had helped heal the body issue she'd been having a bit, so she really didn't need this right now... She was fine-.

"Juliette." Elena's voice sounded like it was stuck in a tunnel, Juliette knew that she was still too far in her own head to verbally answer, but she had answered in her head - she'd acknowledged it with a 'yes'? But unfortunately Elena did not have the ability to read her mind... Shame, that'd make therapy a whole lot easier because I fucking hate talking about my issues, it makes me sound lame as hell. "Jules." She snapped herself out of her brain and lifted her head, looking at where Elena was looking at her in confusion as she crossed one leg over the other as she leaned closer to Juliette...

Uh oh... That's the therapist 'what the fuck just happened' stance... That can't be good.

"Yes ma'am?" She asked, and Elena shook her head, resting her chin on her hand as she gestured towards Juliette vaguely... Mmm... We've been meeting together long enough for you to know that vagueness doesn't work on me, you gotta tell me what you want me to know otherwise I'm gonna be confused for the rest of my life and we're not gonna get anywhere... Tell me.

"Where'd you go, kiddo?" She asked, sounding almost concerned, and Juliette grimaced... Right, getting lost in her own brain wasn't a good thing to do in therapy, it could result in more meetings or different meds... Granted, she didn't consider that to be her really disassociating, but she wasn't the professional, so maybe it did fit into that diagnosis... It'd be pretty stupid if it did, why wasn't she allowed to get lost in her brain, right?

Elena raised an eyebrow at her. Oh. Shit. Right. Words. Sorry.

"I just... Sorry, I was thinking about how I wasn't sure if I really needed this session since I was feeling better." She confessed, and Elena sighed, leaning back in her chair as she flicked her reading glasses up onto her head. Juliette was 99% sure that she knew what Elena was going to say next, and she was sure that it was not going to be something that was agreeing with her - she wasn't nearly that lucky.

Or that mentally stable, honestly.

"I can see why you might think that." Juliette perked up at that, looking at Elena with surprise... Does that mean I can go? Elena's expression told her not as she subtly shook her head, making her frown. "No, you can't leave." She said, and Juliette blinked... How did you know I was gonna say that?

"Never said I was leaving." She mumbled, and Elena chuckled, looking at her with amusement... She wasn't sure why, nothing she'd said was really all that funny, all she'd said was the truth - she hadn't said that she was going, she'd thought it. Can you really read minds? Because if so, I have to clean my thoughts up... Say 'avocado' if you can hear this.