Borrowed Time

Chapter 138

The fluorescent lights of grocery stores were one of the things in the world that Juliette hated the most, and she always had. When she was little, she never understood why going grocery shopping with her mom would always make her so angry and upset and uncomfortable... She always felt faint when she was done and exhausted, like she'd just run a marathon or something... And it was almost worse when she was with someone who was unaffected, because Esme could walk through the store just fine and it was very hard to keep pace with them when they were on a mission... She knew she was trailing behind them, but she couldn't really help it.

Hm... God, the entire world is way too bright and too loud and the thought of opening my mouth to speak or even breath is actually the most exhausting thing in the entire world... I could lay down right here and take a nap and I think that'd fix everything, it'd get rid of the pounding in my head at least, and that would-.

"Juliette." She lifted her head, trying to shake off the fog that she was feeling, but when she looked at Esme, they still seemed a million miles away... Or like she was watching them through a television screen, not really perceiving them properly, but doing her best...

She didn't want them to worry... Say something... Respond... It's not that hard, come on...

"Hm?" She forced the word out of her throat, and it felt guttural and unnatural, and she hated it... Honestly, she used to go completely nonverbal in places like this, she found it was easier to exist that way, like she could float through the store as if she wasn't even real if she took off the weight of speaking... More like her brain took it away from her, like it was physically impossible to get a word out, but... Yeah.

Esme walked closer to her, cupping her face with a concerned expression, forcing Juliette back into her body in a way that made her tremble as she blinked, grimacing... Ugh, it was way worse to be completely aware of herself inside of the store, being disassociated at least meant that she wasn't as aware of the way that the lights burned her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Esme asked, and Juliette sighed, pressing into their touch as she felt her body get heavy... Now that she wasn't out of her body, she was far too in her body and she felt like her legs were going to give out at any second... She couldn't have that, now could she? Esme would simply have to catch her....

No, don't collapse in a grocery store, that's embarrassing... Push through. She pulled her face back from Esme's hands and nodded, clearing her throat.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm great." They walked down a few more aisle, Juliette tuning in and out randomly with what Esme was talking about, her vision not focused... Honestly, she was pretty sure that someone could be waving their hand in front of her right now and she wouldn't even notice, she was just on autopilot...

Sometimes that was the only way to prevent extreme overstimulation - she simply had to put herself into autopilot, that way she didn't have to think.

"Jules." Esme's voice was firm, almost frantic as it pulled her out of her own brain a bit, just enough to turn her head and respond... Esme had already moved when she'd turned to look at them, but that wasn't communicated into her brain fast enough...

Turning anyways.

"What?" She asked, feeling something in front of her, stopping her... and then she smelt Esme's soap. Oh. Hello, how are you doing? Why are you in front of me now instead of next to me, what is this going to achieve for either of us?

"Stop that." Esme said, and Juliette blinked, coming fully back into herself to see Esme looking at her worriedly, a hand on either of her shoulders. She glanced to the side to see that she was way too close to the corner of an aisle... She probably would've walked right into it and hurt her arm if Esme hadn't been paying attention...