Borrowed Time

Chapter Forty

Juliette had been watching Esme sit completely still for the past five minutes. It'd been the strangest thing, she'd been animated and talking the entire car ride to the church, but once they were parked it was like someone powered her down. She was looking at the church with a curious amount of horror, like she had no idea how to handle this. Honestly, Juliette had to watch pretty closely just to make sure she was blinking. She was afraid to touch her in case Esme got startled... but she had to break her out of this. Talk. She liked to hear her talk, right? That should do it.

"Hey." Esme jumped at her speaking, looking over at her with a nervous expression before looking back at the church, her knuckles turning white from how hard she was gripping her steering wheel. Jesus Christ... All this over a mass? If it was going to scare her this much, she didn't have to go, Juliette wouldn't hold it against her.

"What?" Esme's voice came out higher than normal, and a little strained as she stared at the church with wide eyes through the windshield, like she was scared it was going to start moving and crush her... Was going to church really that terrifying for people who hadn't grown up with it? Juliette couldn't think of being afraid of going in there, she was so used to it at this point.

Esme, on the other hand, clearly wasn't... and she wanted to help as best she could, but she had not a damn clue where to start. Asking? It sounded so simple, too simple... and yet it was probably the right move.

"Are you okay?" Juliette asked, and Esme gave her a very strained smile as she started to breathe quicker almost, like just talking about what was bothering her was starting to worry her more... Well, that hadn't been her intent.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? I'm perfectly fine..." She was very clearly not fine, and Juliette wanted to help her through it but there was nothing she could do until she knew exactly what was worrying Esme. She reached over, rubbing her hand across her upper back, trying to encourage her to slow her breathing. Esme leaned forward, resting her head on the wheel of the car.

"You look like you're going to throw up, baby." Esme leaned onto her cheek, giving her a look.

"I feel like I'm going to throw up." Okay fair, that was probably something that she could've gathered... but she really didn't know how else to start this, and it did give her something to jump off of. Why was she feeling like this? What was making her feel like this?

"Okay, what's going on in your head?" She asked gently, and Esme sighed, lifting her head with a pained expression as she shrugged, staring up at the ceiling of her van for a moment before she looked over at Juliette... God, her eyes were a masterwork, never had Juliette seen someone who could convey her deepest emotions with such ease... It took her breath away... Which wasn't the point but honestly, how could anyone blame her for being distracted by Esme's beauty? Everyone should be, it should be legally fucking mandated to look at her with awe, at least in her opinion.

"What if I walk in there and I get stoned like some fucking whore from the prehistoric ages? I'm not built to handle that." Juliette couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her chest at that as she shook her head... Was that something Esme was honestly worried about? Probably not, but she understood what it was meant to mean: What if I walk in there and everyone treats me like I'm a whore... And she understood why she was worried, Esme hadn't had the best exposure to church people yet aside from Shelby, but Juliette really wanted to change that... Maybe she could make Esme laugh, that normally worked to snap people out of their heads, right?

"We don't do that anymore, it kind of went out of fashion with the times. Gotta keep it hip, you know?" Her joke might have been weak, but she didn't think it'd earned the groan that Esme let out... She'd thought it was funny... It was funny, right?