Borrowed Time

Chapter 136

Objectively, Juliette knew that there was no reason on planet earth that she should feel awkward or insecure going to dinner at Danielle's house - she'd been nothing short of perfectly sweet and amazing to her since they'd met... God, Samantha had really done a number on her ability to trust older adults, hadn't she?

She was sat outside the house, her heart pounding and her breathing shallow as she took a puff from the inhaler that Esme had handed her, trying to willing her chest to unsqueeze so that she could get even one full fucking breath in without feeling like she was going to suffocate and die. Esme's hand slid comfortingly up and down her back, but it wasn't doing much to stop the racing thoughts of what could very well happen once she was inside.

Maybe Danielle has been stringing me along up until now, maybe I'm going to walk into that house and she's going to tell me what a godless, loveless whore I am and she's going to criticize me for things that I cannot control... That's oddly comforting, but... No. No, that shouldn't be comforting, what the actual hell is wrong with you?

She took a deep breath as she considered the answer to that question, one that she knew very well.

Extensive fucking trauma. Beside her, Esme cleared their throat.

"Baby... Hey, it's gonna be okay." They said, their voice gentle and encouraging while still seeming to remain understanding about the fact that she was freaking out, something so unique to Esme that it instantly helped her feel better. She reached over and squeezed their leg gratefully... Everything would end up fine if Esme was at her side.

But still... How could they possibly know that it was going to be alright?

"How do you know that? You say it like you're sure, so I'm inclined to believe you but I wanna know exactly how you can say that with such certainty." She asked, looking over into their warm, trusting eyes, so deep that she could drown in them if she wasn't careful, she was sure of it.

They sighed and shifted to take both of her hands, drawing them to her lips so that she could kiss across their tips while looking her in the eyes, leaving a thin line of kisses down her palm as well. So sweet to me.

"Because." They drew their face back, but kept their hands linked, something that Juliette appreciated... She found a great deal of comfort in Esme's touch, it was something that she'd sought out for years but had never found... Not until this year. It was so uniquely pleasant, and it never felt nearly as overwhelming as some people's did when she was panicking. "Danielle has shown herself to be a kind and understanding person who does deeply care about you. I really think you've got nothing to worry about." They kissed her hands again. "That we have nothing to worry about." They said softly, and Juliette grimaced. Ah. They knew that she was replaying the day that Samantha had found out about them, that her head was hurting from thinking about the smack of the door hinge into her temple.

"I know... I just... Look, I know that she isn't Samantha, but how else am I supposed to prepare myself for what could happen, right?" She asked, and Esme gave her a soft look, one that she glanced away from immediately... Too prying.

Esme squeezed Juliette's hands again, prompting her to look up before they spoke to her, slow and gentle... God, their voice... So sinfully beautiful.

"I think maybe... Maybe you need to think about the ways that things could go right sometimes... It might help, I know it's hard for you but I also know that Danielle isn't the kind of person who exists to hurt you... She wants to help, she wants to be there while you heal." Esme said, and Juliette nodded... While that sounded terrifying, it was also correct. Danielle held no ill will towards her, she was nothing like Samantha.