Borrowed Time

Chapter 148

Esme was probably the most talented person that Juliette had ever had the pleasure of meeting in her entire life, and maybe that was skewed because she was so in love with them that she was practically drowning from it, but she still stood by what she said - watching them play guitar was practically a religious experience for her.  She liked watching their fingers move on the frets, seeing the tendons and muscles in their hand flex and unflex easily as they slid their hands up and down the guitar, strumming the strings expertly.

Honestly, she could watch them do something they loved every second of every day and she would never get tired of their passion - it was something that was so beautiful that she could replay it in her mind for days and days and find a new thing to love each and every time.  She did the same thing with their facial expressions.  She liked to trace their features with her fingers so that she could memorize them with her hands enough that she could pick them out in every situation, even if she couldn't have the pleasure of seeing them.

Right now however, she could and she was very grateful, she was grateful to see their smirk, the way that they smiled at her like she was the most important person in the world as they practiced... It felt like they hadn't broken eye contact the whole rehearsal and it was making her heart race in her chest.

Fuck, you must really love me... And I love you too.  I love you so much that it makes my heart ache every single time I see you and I wouldn't have it any other way.  She was ruined for anyone else, she truly was... Was that maybe something that was a bit early to say?  Yes, but she was also living with them... Clearly she was all in with Esme.

When you know, you know.  And she fucking knew.  How could she not, right?

She felt Shelby poke her hip lightly and she regretfully broke eye contact with Esme to look over to her, seeing a concerned sort of curiosity in her eyes... What is it?  Did I do something?  Seeing Shelby look concerned always made her heart drop - they weren't one to sensationalize or overreact, so she knew it was always something that she should be serious about, and that worried her deeply.

"What's up?"  She asked, hoping that the crack in her voice wasn't something that was insanely audible... She didn't want her to be worried about her, that wouldn't help anything... Mostly because she wasn't sure why she'd still be worried - she told Shelby that she was doing a lot better, that was something that should be acknowledged, right?

Shelby cleared her throat, scooting closer as she slipped an arm around Juliette's waist, resting her chin on her shoulder as Juliette pressed a kiss to her forehead on instinct.  Is that calming?  Is that what you needed?

"Have you told Penny about what Katherine said?  About why you've been like... Avoidant?"  Shelby asked, and Juliette blinked, her cheeks flushing as she looked down at her hands... Honestly, she hadn't even realized that she'd been being avoidant, she'd just sort of... She hadn't wanted Penny to have to deal with her petty insecurity, it wasn't her fault that she looked like a fucking goddess all the time, right?

She cleared her throat and shook her head, looking back over to Shelby.  I'm sorry, I haven't realized that that was something that you'd wanted me to do, and I know I should've recognized that... I understand if you're upset with me, you have every right to be.

"I... No, I haven't.  I guess I didn't really think that she'd notice that."  She admitted, and Shelby lifted her head, giving Juliette a strange look as she linked their hands together, giving hers a gentle squeeze.

"You... I mean, I can understand why you might think that because Penny presents as hyper confident sometimes - but she isn't, not all the time at least.  And she notices when tones and things like that changes and she works really hard to fix it even if she isn't sure what's wrong - she's known the whole time that there's been something going on with you, especially because you haven't been responding to her texts... She actually asked me if she did something wrong after breakfast after my party."  Shelby said, and Juliette widened her eyes as she shook her head...