Borrowed Time

Chapter 115

Normally going to church didn't actually make Juliette that anxious, she could find some joy and some peace in it, it was part of a routine that been set a long time ago... But today? No, she felt like she was going to throw up as she sat on the church steps, rocking back and forth as she willed herself to go inside, enjoying how the cold stung her skin... It brought her into the moment, made sure that she didn't lose herself in her mind... She was too busy focusing on how to stay warm...

What if her dad saw her and dragged her home? What if Samantha was in there and she said something? What if she walked in and simply burst into flames? One of those was highly unlikely, but the other two could happen, and she wasn't prepared for either one of those to occur.

"What are you doing here? Thought you were done with going to mass... At least I assumed." Juliette jumped, gripping her chest as she turned around to see Becky smiling at her as she settled down on the step beside her, leaning her chin on her hand. Fuck, she hadn't even heard the door close, that was terrifying.

"Ah! Fuck, Becky... You scared me." She gasped, and Becky gave her an apologetic look, reaching over to squeeze her knee gently.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to, I've been told I walk quietly." She said, and yeah... Whoever the fuck told her that was not a liar because how had she managed to sneak out and not slam that heavy ass door? That was impressive.

"You do. Like a mouse, you cryptic shit." Juliette sighed, rubbing at her temples as she did... How could she even move like that? Becky chuckled and nudged her lightly, looking at her knowingly.

"So... This hostility feels a bit misplaced, wanna talk about why it's there in the first place? Maybe work through some of it?" She asked, and Juliette shrugged, resting her chin on her hand as she looked on glumly... Probably. She couldn't see her own face, but she could make an assumption as to how she looked.

"I haven't been to church in a while." Juliette said, speaking as though that wasn't painfully obvious to Becky - she knew it was, she didn't even know why she was saying it in the first place. Becky chuckled and nudged her lightly, giving her a soft, calming smile... She had that effect, Juliette had realized... She brought calm into every situation that she was in. It was very soothing.

"Oh, I know." The smile turned into a joking smirk. "I've been sitting with my mother because both you and Shelby have been skipping, it has been awful." Juliette believed that it was awful, she used to hate it when Shelby wasn't there and she had to sit with Samantha alone, that was always the worst... She almost always spent the next three days hungry and holed up in her room if she wasn't at school, thinking of all the ways that she hated herself. Samantha had been great at reminding her of that.

"I'm just nervous about walking in there, I don't know what it means." She said, which maybe sounded stupid, but it was true. Becky rubbed a hand across her upper back as Juliette looked up to see Shelby walking up to them, waving a little... Oh. She hadn't realized that Shelby was here today.

"Why are we sitting on the steps, babe?" Shelby sighed, sitting down beside her with an expectant look. Juliette sighed... She hadn't realized that Shelby was gonna show, she'd also kind of fallen off in attendance recently... Odd that they'd both picked the same day to start going... If Juliette hadn't really known that it wasn't possible she would've thought that it was planned in some sort of way.

"Oh, I didn't know you were coming today." She said and Shelby nodded, pulling her head over so that she could press a kiss to her temple, to the scar that was left behind there. She did that often, seeming to be careful to leave it right there, like she was trying to will it away... It was sweet, honestly.