Borrowed Time

Chapter 186

The end of an era was something that Juliette was certain that she would never have thought about when thinking about cheerleading, were it not for how close together it had brought her and Becky, a friendship that she'd never seen meaning so much to her. It was hard to think that after tonight, they wouldn't be teammates, they wouldn't be practicing together, running together, hanging out all the time... Well, they would be because of theater, but that was different. This was the end of the thing that had really brought them together in the first place and that was deeply heartbreaking in a way.

Sure, Juliette was glad to be done with it all - she'd been waiting to throw in the towel on cheerleading literally since the day that she started it, but this year... It'd given her a lot of ups and downs. It'd been a catalyst for the end of her friendship with Ingrid, but it was also responsible for the reignition of her friendship with Becky, if she didn't count the night that they both came out to each other in the church basement... She didn't like to think about that night, it made her stomach ache. Had she quit in Sophomore year like she'd initially planned to do, she never would've had the same experiences... It was like a bittersweet sort of punishment that she'd given herself. She'd had to stay through the bullshit to see how much good it had really brought her.

Stop thinking about it.

She pulled her top over her head, letting out a long breath as the scratchy fabric met her skin for the last time, something she was relieved about - she'd never been crazy about how the uniform made her look, or how it had felt to have it on. It'd never become comfortable, no matter how much her past groomer had told 14 year old her that it really 'became' her...

But that was different... That was a gross thing that had happened to her. She looked across the locker room into the mirror, sucking in her stomach as she placed her hand over it, thinking about how it used to hang against her hip bones, how it used to ache to have her clothing touching her at all... Now her stomach pushed over the waistband a bit, and her thighs were full enough that they touched when she put them together, pressing together instead of having the gap there that she'd practically died to have as a freshman... Her top was tighter, her face was fuller...

But despite it all, she was still her... She was still the same girl that she'd been all those years ago, even if she didn't look exhausted beyond her years and half dead... This was the end of something that had almost killed her, and it could the start of something that helped her heal even more... That was a better way to think about it, it was less upsetting.

"Hard to believe that this is the last time you'll ever be wearing that." Juliette jumped, looking back to see Ingrid leaning against the lockers with a smile, not a malicious or oddly flirty one, but one that showed her teeth and made her eyes crinkle up in the corners... The smile that she used to get when she was younger.

Ingrid had changed so much too... No baby fat on her face, her cheekbones more defined, she was taller than she'd been when they'd started this sport all those years ago... She looked harder now, angrier, more haggard by the world.

Not right now, but that was how she normally looked. Juliette cleared her throat, looking in the mirror again as she tightened her ponytail.

"Last time for you too." She glanced over at her, taking a deep breath. "We've changed a lot since the first time we put them on, huh?" She asked, giving Ingrid a half smile as she heard her let out a low chuckle as she pushed off the lockers to walk closer, standing next to Juliette as they both looked in the mirror.

It wasn't a new sight, they used to get ready together before every practice, but there was a weight to it now, to knowing that Juliette was standing next to a charred bridge, one that seemed like it could one day be rebuilt... Hard to believe they were the same girls who used to share beds, clothes and every secret under the sun.