Napalunok ako ng ilang beses habang hinihintay na lumabas ang result ng pregnancy test. I was delayed with my menstruation for two weeks now. Kahit minsan sa buong buhay ko hindi ko naranasan na madelay sa regla— at iyon ang kinakatakot ko ngayon.
Napabili ako ng tatlo. Nagamit ko na ang isa kagabi, it has a blurry result. May dalawang guhit pero malabo ang isa kaya gusto ko pa ulitin.
I wanted to share this with Milan pero hindi na pwede. This is the part of my life that I needed to face alone. Ayaw ko na gulohin sila ni Kuya Adi, kakayanin ko mag-isa. Kung meron talagang laman itatago ko hanggang sa makakaya ko. Kapag nasa London na ako I can talk to ate Paprika. Masungit siya pero alam ko na hindi niya ako pababayaan.
I just can't tell Mommy right away. I don't want to see how disappointed she will be. Mataas ang expectations niya sa akin, ayaw ko na makita siyang umiyak. Mas kaya ko pa na magalit siya sa akin at saktan ako.
"Oh shit! Thank you, God."
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang makita ko ang isang guhit lang sa ginamit kong pregnancy test. It's very clear and doesn't look defected. Sabi nila emotions can also change the flow— baka dahil maraming nangyari sa akin the past weeks kaya hindi pa ako dinatnan.
I was so happy and silently celebrating on my own. I am trying to let go and move on from my mistake. Araw-araw sinusubukan kong mas maging mabuting tao, mas maging masunuring anak.
"Cay, you're eating too much sweets siguro. Anak, you'll be working in the kitchen but that doesn't mean you have to eat everything there."
Napayuko ako sa sinabi ni Mommy. Ilang araw na niya akong sinasabihan na tumataba.
"Let her, baby. Cay know her limits. Right, anak?" salba naman sa akin ni daddy.
Tumango lang ako. Nakuha ni Nutty ang atensyon ko nang tumikhim siya. Kahit na nakaupo kami pareho at nasa harap ng hapag naramdaman ko ang paghagod ng mata niya sa kabuohan ko. She's like scanning and judging me at the same time. We don't fit each other, nanibago ako na hindi niya ginatongan ng pang-aasar ang sinabi ni mommy.
"Nakabalik na ba sina Milan from Davao?" pag-iba ni daddy ng usapan.
"Umm I'm not sure po," tapat na sagot ko.
Naramdaman ko ang lalong pagseryoso ng tingin ni Nutty sa akin. I felt a little conscious.
"Bakit hindi ka sure? You fought?" kunot-noong tanong ni mommy.
Lahat sila natigil na sa pagkain. I acted fine and keep on putting food inside my mouth.
"Nag-away ba kayong dalawa kaya hindi na namin nakikita na magkasama kayo?" Ulit ni mommy.
Umiling ako. Uminom ng tubig para makakuha ng sapat na oras para makapag-isip ng tamang sagot.
"Cay—
"Mom, hindi po. Okay kami ni Milan. It's just that she's busy tapos ako busy rin."
"Busy? She's on vacation 'di ba?"
"She has endorsement po and syempre si K—kuya Adi."
Napailing si Mommy. She seems disapprove with what she heard.
"I know they're not my kids pero worried ako sa dalawang 'yon. They are too serious with their relationship. Bata pa sila pareho. What will happen nalang if they broke up? This will hurt the relationship of their family from each other," mom litany. "Kaya kayong dalawa iwasan niyo mga anak ng kaibigan ng daddy niyo. You don't want things to be awkward every gathering."
"But how about ate Paprika?" Nutty asked like she's mad with mom.
"Nutty watch your tone," si Daddy.
BINABASA MO ANG
Ravaged (CHURCH SIBLINGS 3)
RomantizmAbraham Saide break every bit of what Cayenne had- he betrayed her adoration, their friendship and her trust. After years of keeping it only to himself the truth is finally out. Abraham is the real father of Cayenne's son. Will there be enough rea...
