VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴48

Michelle took mom into another room to question her. I hated that they separated us even more.

"He knocked you good, kid," Molly tells Paula as she checks the spot Donnie hit her.

"He's in pain. Guys can't handle pain," Paula brushes it off.

I bite the inside of my lip and tilt my head.

"Why not?" I ask, surprising myself.

"What's that?" Paula asks.

"I.." I struggle.

"C'mon, now. Spit it out, honeysuckle," Molly urges, coughing right after.

I wriggle my feet. They hadn't taped them back up after earlier. I liked having a bit more freedom, at least.

"There was this guy.. He manipulated a bunch of his people. He.. He tore our home apart. He killed my grandfather. Before then, my grandpa used to say that 'hurt people hurt people'. I think I've seen more men hurting people than women, though."

Paula laughs a little. "Men think they're fighters. They think that they're leaders. So, they tell us to sit still and be quiet. Don't get in the way."

She takes a step closer, hands on her hips as she looks down at me.

"You're about the same age my middle girl was."

"You had a daughter?" I ask.

"I had four."

I sigh and look at the floor. Her stare was too powerful.

"The difference is that I'd never bring my children out into a war," she scoffs. "But, your mother did."

"You're wrong," I argue. "I wanted to come to help her. And there's another difference."

"And what's that?" she pushes.

I look back to her eyes.

"Your daughters are dead. I'm still alive."

Paula's eyes harden and she laughs in disbelief. "Yeah? And how long do you think that will be true?"

"Not all men are horrible. Rick.. He's a good leader. I trust him. I love him. He's gonna figure this out. He's gonna save me and my mom."

"Aww, sweetheart." Paula squats in front of me. "Every man is just looking out for himself. It's only a matter of time until he ruins your life. And those 'good men'? They don't make it."

I try not to think about grandpa, dad, Sean, and Otis. I try.

"You don't know that," I defend.

Rick would never hurt me. Carl, Daryl, Abraham, and others, too. And God knows Glenn would never hurt me or mom. 

"I don't? You don't know a single thing about me, kid."

"You're a woman that used to be a mom. When things went downhill.. You hid behind a strong man even though he hits you."

"Donnie?" she laughs. "Donnie isn't shit to me. He's just a warm body for my bed. I could kill him in his sleep and not flinch."

"If he was just a fuck buddy, you wouldn't be getting hit. You're using him as protection."

"Exactly. Protection. You think I wouldn't hesitate to shove him in front of a growler to save my own ass?"

I huff and look away again. "You say men are bad, but you serve one, right?"

She doesn't say anything. I glance to her eyes once more.

"Negan," I name.

The name had come up before. Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham had ran into his men on the road. Then, the Hilltop mentioned Negan again. He was the leader of all this. Another man with too much power.

"And what do you think you know about Negan?" she challenges with a smile.

"I think he's another big ego asshole that bosses people around to keep himself safe."

"Like Rick?"

I shake my head. "No. Rick is a good man. A good leader. Negan sounded.. barbaric. Insane."

She leans even closer. I try not to react though I could feel my heart speed up in fear.

"Sweetie," she says, sickeningly nice and sweet. "Negan is going to take everything from you."

I blink. Now, her eyes were to captivating to look away like I kept doing. I couldn't stop staring back at her.

"You think some angry man that killed dear old grandpa is bad? You have no idea what's coming for you."

I inhale shakily.

"He's just a man," I remind.

"See, that's where you're wrong. We are all Negan."

"What does that mean?" I question.

Paula smiles that fake grin again and stands up straight.

She radios Rick again. She tells him that they're ready to make the trade of people.

My stomach churns at the constant mention of trades. Beth died during a trade. Noah was almost taken. A trade is the last thing we need. It wouldn't work.

Paula begins talking about needing to get ready. Molly asks what to do with me and Paula says I should just stay here.

They had more people on the way. There were more Saviors out there. They were coming after us. A trade wouldn't work- I know this from Beth. Leaving wouldn't work- they'd search for us with their other people.

Paula and Molly leave. I look over to where Donnie was passed out on the ground.

I had to find mom.

The trades, the mentions of Beth.. It was all so overwhelming. Even more so when I pull my shirt back and grab my necklace.

Beth stabbed Dawn with these scissors. I couldn't stop thinking about it as I cut the tape off from around my hands.

Now free, I make it to my feet. I step toward Donnie with the scissors up- ready to stab.

His arm was outstretched and I see his bullet wound. I caused that. I nearly killed him. I have to kill him.

Panic seeps into my blood and I stumble backwards and run out of the room quietly.