VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴80

I wasn't sure what exactly was a dream and what was reality anymore.

I run my fingers through my hair as I walk into the woods.

"It's dangerous to be out here alone," dad notes, following behind me.

"I know what I'm doing," I promise. "Better to talk out here than my girlfriend seeing me talk to myself."

"Well.. you aren't talking to yourself. You're talking to me."

I glance over my shoulder at him. My chest swells.

"I miss you," the words slip from my mouth.

Dad steps closer and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "I missed you, too."

"Is this why you said to not smell the funny plants that your friend Derek smoked?" I wonder.

"Derek sure did like his Mary Jane."

I chuckle and throw my arm around his waist. It was o much more different than when I was younger. I was just under his chin now. Before, I hardly reached his side.

"What did you take, anyway?" he asks.

"Pain meds for my arm I broke during the war. Didn't.. didn't you see that?" I wonder.

"See it?"

"Like.. watching up above."

Dad makes a face. "No.. I didn't see anything."

"I should've known He would fail," I scoff.

"He? God?"

"Well, God surely isn't a woman."

"Why's that?"

"A woman wouldn't fuck up this bad."

Dad throws his head back and laughs. At the loud noise, I instinctively search the area to make sure no walkers heard.

"So, you're high," dad sighs.

I guess I did take one too many pain meds. But.. I didn't regret it. If this was the side effects.. it wouldn't be the last time, either.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"About what?" I ask.

"The war."

"Thought you didn't see anything? You're not even going to ask where we are? Why I have a girlfriend? Where everyone else is?"

"I didn't have to see it.. It's kind of like I just.." he pauses and tilts his head. "Like I just know it."

"So.. are you only here because I took more medication than I was supposed to?"

"I think so."

I frown a little. "So.. when the med wears off.. you'll go again?"

Dad pulls me closer. It felt.. right.. to finally call him dad.

Matt had been my best friend since the day I was born. I looked up to him. I loved him. Then, I lost him.

The worst part about finding out the truth about my birth wasn't that the people I loved had lied to me my whole life. 

It wasn't even that my annoying 'big sister' was my actual mom.

It was that the man I cared for so much was my father and by the time I found out the truth, he was gone and we could never be the father and daughter we were meant to be.

I didn't mind that my life was turned upside down.

I just wished for one more Christmas. One more guitar lesson. One more ice cream trip.