VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴120

I shove Negan and his gun aside when I duck into the hiding spot.

"Hershel?" I ask as I jog through the room.

"Ellie?"

I run over to him and drop to my knees. He runs into my open arms and I squeeze him tightly.

"Are you okay? You're not hurt?" I ask.

"I'm okay.." he whispers, hugging me just as tight. "I'm sorry I snuck on the truck. I just wanted to help."

I shake my head and just hold him tighter. "Don't be. To be honest, I would've done the same."

Hershel nuzzles his face in my collarbone.

"Did anything happen?" I ask.

"One of those soldiers brought me inside.. But.." he pauses.

I pull away enough to look at him. His eyes dart to Negan, then to the floor.

I mentally curse before turning my head enough to look at Negan. I hate that I was on my knees in front of him again, so I stand up straight.

"I took him out. We got back without anyone seeing us," Negan explains.

My eyes fix in a glare and I rip the radio from his hand.

"Mom?" I ask into the device.

"Ellie?" she asks. "Are you safe?"

"I'm here. I have Hershel. We're good," I promise.

There's a silence over the radio before she returns. "We'll be back soon. I have a plan."

I turn the radio off and shove it into Negan's chest.

"What? Nothing to say?" he pokes.

"Bad people can do good things. Doesn't change much," I spit.

I grab Hershel's hand and pull him into another room so we can be away from Negan.

--

As nighttime rolled around and the soldiers were dealt with by Elijah, Aaron, Gabriel, and Mom- it was time to gear up and go home.

"I heard you shouldn't go to bed angry," Anna reveals as we grab our packs.

"Are you angry?" I wonder.

"Not as much as I was," she admits. "I just.. I wish you could see things differently."

I look at the bloodstained floor, recalling how the earlier mission felt like a Reaper event.

"I was coming out here to look for something," I reveal.

"Huh?"

"Earlier. When I was leaving you asked where I was going. I thought about a bunch of stuff. How Michonne still tracked the man that killed my Grandpa. How Daryl looked for Rick. How you and Mom looked for me. How Negan tracked us down.."

"So.. you were looking for Negan?" she clarifies.

I purse my lips and shake my head.

"Leah?"

Again, I shake my head.

"Then..?"

"I was looking for Rick and Michonne," I reveal.

Anna gives me a look. "I thought you were letting that go and-"

"I want to find them and bring them home. I.. I messed up big time. Ever since Carl.." I sigh at the name. "Ever since Carl, I haven't been right with them. And then Negan made it worse."

I shuffle on my feet nervously.

"Seeing Judith again and meeting RJ.. Having Hershel.. I guess I just understand what Carl felt. And I think about Mom taking Hershel on the road to chase after me and I just.. I don't think it's fair that Rick and Michonne are out there while Judith and RJ are here."

Anna nods, listening intently.

"Rick.. if he's alive.. I should bring him back and make it right with him. It's my fault that the bridge went the way it did- even if I don't take all of the blame, I still had a hand in it. And Michonne.. she wouldn't abandon her kids without a reason. Not after Carl."

"So, you think they're stuck somewhere?"

"Rick always found a way back to Carl. He has to do the same for Judith. And Michonne.. like I said, she wouldn't abandon them for no reason. There has to be something bigger out there. Something keeping them from coming back to Judith and RJ."

"You don't have to do it alone," Anna reminds. "I'd just go back out there chasing you in circles."

A hole grows in my chest and I feel tears sting the back of my eyes. I give her a tight smile and pull her into a hug. Anna wraps her arms around my waist, below my pack.

"I'm sorry. I'm still figuring all this out. But.. I do know that I love you and I don't want to hurt you. I've already put you through enough," I tell her.

We stay in our hug, just holding each other. It felt nice just to be. It felt nice to be in her arms without worry.

"What about him?" she wonders.

Negan.

"Still figuring that out, too.. I can't leave to look for Rick and Michonne with him in the picture. Not after today with Hershel."

I pull out of the hug, though our arms stay around each other.

"You don't have to figure it out alone, either," Anna points out. "We work good as a team. Let's not ruin that."

I run my thumb in circles on her side and nod.

"Hey," Mom greets as she walks over. "We're heading home. are you ready?"

Hershel trails behind her- Josh, Lydia, and Elijah behind him.

"All set," I say and Anna nods in agreement.

"Good. We've got a lot of work to do."

"How so?" Elijah asks as we walk outside.

"Lance is going to look for the people that killed his men. We need to be ready for a fight."