VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴102

Someone tackles a Reaper to the ground.

I roll onto my side and cough up some blood. I look over to try and figure out who saved me from my own group.

My body goes stiff.

Negan.

With a swift motion, he stabs a blade into Alex's throat.

I latch onto the doorknob above me and pull myself to my knees.

Negan stabs Alex in the head and stands up with a groan then a tired exhale. He steps closer to me. I hated the position. Me on my knees.. Him above me..

I had a self-made rule. I would never allow Negan to look me in the eyes.

I couldn't look away this time. Our eyes meet and don't look away.

He's truly alive.

He's free from the cell.

He was with the group.

Negan's eyes were unreadable. It was strange to look at him fully. For the longest time, he was a shadow in my mind.

Looking him in the eyes though.. This was a living, breathing man. He wasn't a shadow. He wasn't a bad memory.

Negan is a man.

Negan is a human.

Negan is a beating heart with thoughts and emotions.

At once, it was like the floodgates of pain were released.

Glenn's careful eye watching me play at the farm. How he smiled when I played songs.

How my father trusted Glenn with my life and handed me to Glenn into that car window, both men saving me from the herd.

Always asking if there was anything I wanted. Not need.. Glenn asked if I wanted something despite the conditions of the world. Secret letters in journals, begging me to open up. Even though I made it clear time and time again that I loathed him. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"You don't get it, but I'd do anything for you, Ellie"

Despite how he was still healing, Glenn protected me from the Governor's tank explosions. And despite how he was still sick and injured, he still managed to get some of my personal belongings out of the prison and carry with him on the road until we were reunited.

"I'll be your weapon, Ellie. I won't let anything happen to you"

Glenn didn't mind if I was embarrassing him, just as long as I was laughing. Like his stack of boxes and mop.

He was special to me because he was my Glenn. And I was his Ellie. I risked everything for fear of losing him to Nicholas. I stayed out all day and night. just waiting on a sign. He survived the incident, no matter how unlikely the chances were. 

Glenn's lessons he taught me along the way. The meaning of karma. The difference between surviving and living.

"Listen, Ellie.." Negan breathes.

I swallow the lump in my throat and stand up shakily.

Negan's eyes were hazel. He had smile lines in the creases of his eyes. He said my name with such ease. Caution, even. His hair was graying. His body was lean.

Negan holds a hand out, unease and tension in the air between us.

I clench the knife at my side.

"Ellie.." Negan repeats my name.

I take a closer step. His eyes were getting blurry in my sight from the tears building in my own.

"I know we got shit to work through, but we gotta make it through this fight right now," Negan continues to coax.