VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴125

"The longer we're here.. the more danger that Daryl, Aaron, and Gabriel are in," I say with a hoarse voice. "And I.. I don't know where Hershel or Anna.."

Mom shakes her head and my words fall flat. We couldn't talk about where anyone was with Leah so close.

But, we both knew that Leah was working with Lance Hornsby. And that they were on their way here. Lance wanted Mom and I dead and enlisted Leah to get it done. All of this was just an extra game that Leah wanted to play.

"Why did you want to leave again?" Mom asks. "And stealing from Hilltop? Robbing me?"

"I have to end this with Negan."

"Do you think you're the only one that wants him dead?"

"I got close. And then, you sent me away. I got close again and.. you were teaming with him," I admit. "It feels like you don't care."

"I made the deal with Gregory to take down the Saviors for Hilltop. It wasn't my idea, but I did it. I blame myself every day for Glenn's death because it was my doing that we went into that war."

I shake my head. "I just.. I couldn't kill the.."

Mom frowns. I force myself to look stronger. Just say his name. Acknowledge it.

"The Governor," I name. "I was too young. And with that Dawn woman.. I wasn't fast enough. I need to do this one."

Mom sighs, her chest expanding and falling with great height.

"And I thought about running because.. I can't look at Hershel," I admit.

"What?"

"I know what it's like to lose a dad and.. never really have him as a dad. Even though my dad was there, he was just Matt the worker. Not Dad. And Hershel didn't get to meet Glenn- Glenn is just a story to him. A 'what if' like Dad is to me. I don't want Hershel to end up like me. I want him to be safe.. happy.. normal. Not a fucked up, ex-druggie, murderer like me."

"Ellie.." Mom couldn't speak anymore. A tear falls from her cheek and she sniffles, looking away from me.

My eyes were swollen from all the crying. I copy Mom's sniffle and exhale sharply.

"It should be me," I say.

"No," Mom denies. "No, Ellie."

"This is how I make it right," I argue. "Hershel needs you. Hilltop needs you. The world is better if you leave here alive rather than me."

"You can't expect me to.." Mom cuts herself off and jerks at the restraints. "Ellie.. listen."

"Lance is on the way. We're running out of time," I plead. "Just.. let it be me."

"No," she states.

"She's not gonna stop unless we decide. Please, just follow my lead on this one. Let it be me, Mom, please!"

"No!" she shouts.

"Daryl and the others are in danger! It's either me or everyone! I'm not worth everyone else's lives. Don't let everyone die for nothing like.. like the rest."

"What does that mean?"

Leah's words had sunken so far in my head. I hang my head in shame.

"Eleanor, what does that mean?" Mom pushes.

"I'm worth nothing. Dad, Sasha.. everyone.. they all died for me. So, it was for nothing."

"Ellie, your father loved you!" Mom cries. "He sacrificed himself because he loved you. Not because he expected something greater out of it. Sasha did that because she loves you!"