VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴114

"Carol sends her love," Daryl comments as we hug. "And Judith said to remind you that you have to wash off the eyeshadow or else you'll break out."

"Pretty sure some glittery powder won't damage my skin more than it already is," I joke and squeeze him tightly.

"You know you're way in and out now.. Don't hesitate to come visit," he reminds, arms around my waist and lower back.

"You, too," I release him sadly. "Be safe over there. Tell Carol the same back.. And Rosita."

He smiles softly as I mention Rosita. He knew about the tension between us, so I could tell he was happy that I wasn't hostile toward her.

"You be safe out here," Daryl points and smiles to Mom and I before walking away.

"Diane," Mom speaks up.

I poke at my bracelet and turn around. Diane and some of the others had their weapons and bags.

"I'm leaving, Maggie," Diane says. "And some of the others are coming with me.. and you should, too."

I huff out a breath and shake my head.

"You need to be careful with who you trust. You know that better than anybody," Mom says.

"You also have to know when to ask for help. It's harder than it has ever been and it doesn't have to be."

"What? And you think it'll be easier stuck in there?" I ask Diane. "Waiting for things to fall apart?"

"It might be," she urges. "Listen.. I respect the hell out of you, Maggie. But, I can't do this anymore."

Diane apologizes and she and the group of people walk away. 

I look at Mom. "Why aren't you stopping them? They're gonna get themselves killed."

"I want my people to have choices. And if they choose to walk away from me and my leadership.." Mom sucks in a breath and I see her shaking off the hurt. "Then, that's their right."

I take a moment to mirror her body language. If she wasn't upset, then I wouldn't be either.

"Less mouths to feed," I declare.

--

"What's it like in there?" Lydia wonders.

"Hmm?" I hum.

"Commonwealth," she answers.

I look at her through the dark. We were on watch for the night. I was on the left post and she was on the right.

"Why?" I ask.

"Just.. curious is all."

"Have you ever been to a concert?"

Lydia blinks a couple of times then shakes her head. "Never got the chance."

"It's like going in a black hole with flashing lights everywhere and people are just.. pushing and shoving each other because there's no room."

"You've been to one?"

"A few. Music was a big thing growing up," I admit and lean on the fence. "That's what Commonwealth felt like. But.. bigger. More people. instead of lights, it was disorienting shops and laughing and.. bullshit."

"My old group.. the one my mother lead. We were called the 'Whisperers'. Did anyone tell you why that was our name?"

I shake my head at her question, wondering if she knew the thin line she was walking on.

"My mom made us tear the skin off of the dead's faces. Then, she hung them out to dry.. Once it was good, she cut the back of the neck and made them into masks. She stitched them around our heads so they wouldn't fall and we.. we wore the walker faces to blend in."

I feel my stomach churn at the thought. The image. The smell.

"And we used that. We would walk with them. We marched in the herds with the dead. And we talked.. well, I guess you can figure out why they called us the 'Whisperers'."

"I still remember a bit of life before.. but, when I think about it now, I just think about what I lost," I confess. "My family. Friends. House.. everything except my mom."

"And being in Commonwealth didn't help?"

"Made it worse. I just looked at all these assholes worrying about money and parties.." I pause and laugh under my breath. "There are people that dress up as walkers in there for a haunted house."

"What?"

"That thing your mom made you do.. they did it with makeup for shits and giggles," I clarify. "It's a bullshit place with bullshit people."

Lydia shuffles her staff between her hands. "But, all I've known is life out here. I can't remember life before.. maybe we're the same just.. opposite sides."

I think about what mom said. People having choices.

"If you want to go, you know you can, right? No one is keeping you here. Nothing is, really."

"What about my conscience?"

"How so?"

"My mom burned this place.. I should try and build it back."

"From what I understand, you were already a part of the group before that happened. Our parent's mistakes aren't ours, Lydia."

"You think so?"

"My best friend told me that sometimes kids have to show their parents the way. I don't think that ends once they're gone. And I don't think just because you disagreed with your parent's plans and rebelled that you should be held accountable for their crimes."

"I just want a better life. I don't know how to find that."

"I left out from here thinking it would be better. Then, I got mixed up with the wrong people, but still tried to make it better. Now, I'm back here.. Years on the road and I still haven't found it."

I give a small smile to Lydia. She sighs and I could tell the world was weighing on her shoulders.

"You don't know until you try. Experiences are what make us human. It's what keeps us alive."

"I thought surviving kept us living."

Lessons from Glenn flood my brain.

"Surviving keeps us breathing. What we choose to do with the time we get to breathe.. that's what makes us live."