VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴65

"What are you doing here?" Carl asks.

"Don't shoot the messenger, jeez," I huff. "I was dropping off the letters."

"I thought you were going back to Hilltop?"

"I was. But, then it got dark. Daryl said he'll take me back in the morning."

"So, you're staying here?"

I cross my arms. "Shit, man. If you don't want me here, just say so."

"No, it's.." he sighs.

"Look, Carl.. about the other day-"

"Don't," he shakes his head.

"No, I was out of line. It's just.. I wish I was strong like you and able to storm into the Sanctuary. I tried with Rosita and Sasha.. Sasha locked me out and told me to go. I think she wanted me to feel strong and loved but.. I kinda just felt useless."

"I wasn't strong by stowing away in that truck," he argues.

"You were. It was.. more than most of us have done."

Carl tilts his head at me. He had bags under his eye, a little sweat on his face.

"You all right, man?" I ask.

"I was stupid for going into the Sanctuary."

"If this is about what I said-"

"It's not. It's.. It's what Negan said."

A frown settles onto my lips. Negan was with Carl for God knows how long? Did that asshole get in his head?

"Did he hurt you?" I ask.

"No. He.. He said I was a badass for killing his men."

I scrunch my face in confusion.

"He thrives off shit like that, Ellie. A war.. workers.. he doesn't care. Not really. He just wants the world to cater to him."

"I know," I assure.

"So.. he needs to understand and see that the world is more than that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

Carl shakes his head and begins walking away.

"Carl!" I call, chasing after him. "What do you mean by that?"

I finally reach him and grab his arm. He jerks back at once and pulls his sleeve down like the skin on skin would hurt him.

"Gabriel was a jerk. He changed. Eugene was a jerk and he-"

"Is right back at the start. he chose the Saviors over us. He's still a coward."

"No, it's.. It's not a matter of being a coward or afraid."

"Since when did you start like.. not making sense?" I question. 

"There's gotta be something after the war, Ellie. There's gotta be a future."

"Carl, we need to figure out how we're going to survive tomorrow before we think about next week."

"We've gotta make today better if we want there to be a chance of having a next week," he argues.

"Dude, dumb it down for me or something. You're not.." I throw my hands up. "I don't understand."

He looks over to a field. Then, back to me.

"I'm helping someone."

"Okay..?" I urge.

"His name is Siddiq. He's.. I put him in the sewers."