VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴22

Maggie places a blanket over Ellie's shoulders as the young girl stared at the fire.

The others were talking about what to do next or sleeping. Ellie couldn't find it in herself to do anything but look at the flames and cry to herself.

Maggie sits beside her, though she was also crying.

"When he left.." Ellie's voice cracks.

Maggie looks to her, making sure that Ellie knew she had her full attention even if her mind was lightyears away.

"He was just going to burn bodies. I.. I could've gone to him and hugged him. Told him that I'd see him soon and that I loved him."

Ellie tries to keep speaking but her voice cracks. She whimpers, swallowing to get the emotion down.

"And I hate myself for it. I should've went to him. But.. Beth.. she.."

Maggie scoots closer, wrapping Ellie in a side hug.

"She was roght there. I hugged her.. I.. I had her."

A cry escapes Ellie's lips and she takes a few seconds to regain a resemblance of composure.

"I don't know what's worse.. Thinking everything was fine and not saying goodbye or.. Thinking everything was wrong then getting hope just for it to be taken away before I could.."

Maggie shushes her, rocking back and forth. "Don't think about it."

"Not knowing hurt.. How.. Now that I saw it how do I.."

Maggie holds on tighter and Ellie's last inkling of composure dwindles. All she could do was cry with her face burrowed in Maggie's arm.

--

Ellie didn't pay attention to what was going on around her. If anything, she and Maggie were blank slates of their former selves. They sat in the backseat away from everyone else and just.. nothing. They didn't speak, they hardly ate until Glenn begged enough that they complied if only to shut him up..

Ellie didn't dare fall asleep.

The dreams were getting worse and worse before. They had started seeping into her awake time with the intrusive visions of Hershel's body.

If she slept now, what would she see? What horrible nightmares would be awaiting her?

No. Ellie couldn't sleep. It was too dangerous.

They were on the road for days though to Ellie it felt like a few hours.

She didn't ask where Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Tyreese, and Noah were going when they split off from the rest. She didn't ask why. She just sat there.

The cars that everyone had piled in waited on the side of a road. Most got out to stretch their legs and get some fresh air.

After awhile, Maggie does the same. Her worry for Glenn going inside Noah's home community woke part of her up and she needed to clear her head.

Ellie sat in the car alone for an hour or so. She glanced outside to the others nervous pacing or keeping watch and felt nothing.

Ellie wonders how everyone could.. be.

Then, she remembered that they didn't lose their blood family within a span of less than two weeks.

They were all family, of course. Ellie would never lessen the pain they must be going through from losing Beth and Hershel. She knew that they loved them, too.

But, things are different when you're family family.

It's how Rick was able to keep leading despite seeing T-Dog dead but went into a haze of rage and grief when Lori died the same day.