VILLAINESS [TWD]

➴115

"Where are you off to?" Anna questions.

I throw a look at her over my shoulder, sigh, and continue packing my bag.

"Small run," I answer.

"Can I tag along?"

I smile to myself. "I'd like that.. but, I need you to be here."

"Yeah, I'm gonna get Marco to help me start the armory logs. Are you sure you want to go alone?"

'I'm better alone. How else have I made it these past years?"

"Well, you weren't alone and you weren't really making it. You were high off your shit and with people that-"

"Anna," I plead. "I know. You don't have to rub it in."

"I'm not rubbing it in. I'm pointing out the obvious."

I knew she was being concerned. I knew she was looking out for me, but it still hurt like hell.

"Where are you going, anyway?" she wonders.

I toss my bag around my shoulder. "Food run."

"Don't lie," she frowns. "I can see right through you."

I hook my thumb in the strap of my bag. "Do I have to tell you?"

Anna squints and taps her fingers on the doorframe. "Some clarity would be nice. I thought we were over the secrets and lying."

"We are," I promise. "But.. I just need some time."

"I don't like you going out there alone when you're still healing."

I scoff under my breath. "Yeah? That didn't stop you and Mom from leaving me in that shit hole alone."

Anna grabs my arm as I try to walk by. "What?"

"Nothing," I deny.

"You're angry that.. we got you help?" she questions.

That hint of annoyance comes back. "I'm glad you tried to help. But, damn, did you have to leave me high and dry?"

"Maggie had to come back here. And Hershel wouldn't step foot in that place. She couldn't drop all responsibilities and sit by your bed. We knew you were safe, so why are you upset?"

"I don't know I guess it's just.. shit.." I sigh.

Anna drops my arm and crosses her own in expectancy.

"You want us to give you space and then you get angry that we aren't all up in your face.. Ellie, you have to find a middle ground. We're getting mixed signals here."

I drop my bag back on the floor and groan at the sky.

"It's just.. Daryl was out there for years searching for Rick. I still go to Glenn's grave every day. Rosita still talks about Abraham. Judith is waiting for Michonne and.."

"Can you spell it out here?"

"How can I clarify when I don't fucking know?" I snap.

Anna's eyebrow raises. I sigh in disappointment and shake my head.

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "It just.. It feels like everyone can wait and hold onto people, but.. not for me. I'm not worth searching for or waiting by my bedside or.. or visiting my grave."

Anna tilts her head. "Are you serious right now?"

I raise my hand and plop it back to my thigh. I didn't see what she meant. She looked offended at the thought, though.

"We left this place to come find you. We've been chasing you around the Eastern states for over five years. Maggie risked Hershel's life when he was just a toddler to try and find you. We left everything behind to track you down just for you to keep running away from us when we got close."

My throat constricts at her words.

"And even when you were with those Reaper-dipshits, we stayed to fight and get you back! Not once did we ever leave you behind, Ellie."

Her gaze was too intense. I look at the floor.

"Maggie is tired. And Hershel needs a safe place to call home. There are people looking at Maggie to lead them. She had to stay out here and she hated that, believe me. That's why I kept coming back to inform her of your condition."

Anna leans down just a bit to recapture my eyes.

"And you woke up on one of the few days I wasn't by your bedside, washing your body, massaging you so you wouldn't go stiff, telling you stories because I thought you could hear me.. You woke up on one of the days I wasn't doing that.. and I'm sorry. But, don't try to tell me that no one cares or fucking loves you when I have devoted my life to you since the day we met!"

There were tears in her voice now. I couldn't help but acknowledge the burning sensation in my own eyes.

"You are the love of my life, Eleanor. I have given you everything and then some! And you're going to stand here, in the house that we built together, and tell me that I don't love you enough?"

"That's not-"

"So, Daryl slept outside to look for Rick, right? And Judith was abandoned by Michonne and she's waiting for her? Ellie, I traveled half of America just wanting a sign that you were alive! I did that! I searched every building, every car, every alley, and every bit of space in between just looking for a sign!"

"Okay," I give in. "I get-"

"But, I don't fucking love you enough? I don't care enough?" she scoffs.

I rub my lips together shamefully.

I really had a special way of fucking everything up, didn't I?

After a few minutes of silence, there's a knock on the door.

I was too busy cursing myself out. Anna was just staring at me, waiting on an answer. Neither of us made a move to the door.

"Ellie?" Hershel calls, peeking his head in a crack. "Anna?"

Anna clears her throat. "Yeah?"

I keep my back to Hershel and wipe my tears away on my sleeve.

"Mom said she needs you both.. Something happened.."

I look up again. Really, God? What kind of sick joke is this?

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

my birthday is tomorrow !!!!!

i keep forgetting that i haven't finished this book bc i extended it and then i forget to write and upload the rest rip