𝑻 𝑯 𝑬 𝑵 𝑨 𝑵 𝑵 𝒀 (18+)

seventeen.

AMARA

I stared at the empty wine glass as Dominic rummaged through his cabinets to find an unopened bottle. The house was otherwise quiet and a knot twisted in the pits of my stomach from the silence. I wiped a tear from my cheek, two maybe three, and covered my forehead with my hand. I wasn't upset that Luis had been cheating on me, not entirely that is. I was angry because he lied and instead of just telling me he was interested in someone else, he cheated and made me feel like the problem in our relationship. Most importantly, I was angry he had beaten me to it. Out of all the split moments I questioned whether he was the right person for me I decided to stick around when he'd already left. That was why I was angry and I wasn't sure how long it would last or how bad it would hurt but right now it plunged me under ice-cold water and I was struggling to catch my breath.

Loneliness was something I'd struggled with since moving to California and now that Luis was finally gone I felt it creeping up my neck. He'd called me nearly twenty times since I'd gotten back home and I was tempted to answer ten of them. I wanted to hear his excuses just one more time. To find a reason to be angry, to drive down the Estella's and give both him and Kate a further piece of my mind because I felt like I was going to explode if I hadn't. Yes, I was angry tonight but soon that anger would turn to grief and I had enough of that for the rest of my life. Unfortunately for me, I had no time to be angry or upset. I couldn't lay in my bed for hours at a time with the blinds closed and I couldn't finish off an entire pint of ice cream or get so drunk I could barely stand.

There was nothing I could do so I held onto that anger for as long as I could because I'd hate what it would turn into when I was finally alone.

"I'm assuming you two broke things off?" Dominic spoke. The sound of wine being poured into the skinny glass echoed throughout the kitchen. Only when I was searching for ways to be distracted did I notice little sounds like that. Glass shifting across the wood, the drip of the faucet, and the sound of his shoes skating across the tile. Saw things I never noticed before too. Like how his collar was slightly tucked into his shirt or how tired he looked tonight. Right now I was paying close attention to the way he focused on pouring the wine into each glass, making sure they both matched in height.

"He didn't have a choice in the matter," I laughed. It was empty and curt. It hurt too but the pain wasn't physical.

"Do you wanna talk about it? We don't have to of course but I find that talking helps." That's what everyone said but I couldn't ever find a valid reason to. Talking didn't change anything for me, only seemed to make the problems worse.

"Speaking from experience?" I immediately regretted the statement as soon as it left my mouth but from the way his eyes softened I didn't bother trying to take it back. He leaned against the table to remove his watch, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip while he focused on unlatching its hook. "Damn thing gets stuck sometimes," he laughed as he continued messing with the jewelry.

I rolled my eyes, "here let me see it."

He extended his arm and my fingers brushed against his wrist before they hit cold silver. With cloudy eyes, I unhooked the tiny silver latch and handed the watch back to him with a smile. He thanked me before tilting his head, "to answer your question yes. It is from experience. It might seem daunting at first but talking does help."

"My relationship problems pale in compassion to yours Mr. Gray," I huffed.

"Why do you say that?"

"We were just dating. You were married to Stephanie for—"

"Thirteen years," he smiled flatly. "But hurt is hurt. One week, two months, forty years. That doesn't matter Amara. If someone means something to you, it's going to hurt."