𝑻 𝑯 𝑬 𝑵 𝑨 𝑵 𝑵 𝒀 (18+)

fifty-four

AMARA

This was my dream, being able to live on my own without anyone's help. It's what I wanted since I was a kid, what I hoped I'd be doing by the time the summer was over. It was finally mine only I wasn't sure how bad I wanted it anymore, not if it meant I had to lose something to get what I'd always wanted. The notion was ridiculous. I knew not everyone got it all, but I didn't understand why I couldn't. Why there always had to be something at stake for a chance at happiness.

Why couldn't I have both?

Why couldn't he have both?

It was safe to say that I was jumping the gun. I couldn't say for sure that things were going to change or that I'd even really lose anything at all. But I felt it. Like a cold chill creeping up my neck. Something was bound to happen soon, and I wasn't sure I'd be ready for impact by the time the storm hit.

"I just got done talking with the realtor. They have a few heavy hitters looking at this apartment but she's willing to give it to you if you're serious. I think you should go for it, it's close to your university and there's a bunch of restaurants and bars nearby if you ever want to go out." Harry tilted his head and waved a hand in front of my face, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I cleared my throat. "Thank you for coming with me today, I know this probably wasn't what you were expecting when I asked if you wanted to hang out." I laughed but I felt a bit bad about the whole thing. Henry and I had known each other for a while now and still, I never saw him outside of my trips to the park with the kids. I bailed on him the last time he asked me to hang out and only now asked to see him because he knew more about the housing market than I did.

What made it all worse was he was actually excited to come out with me today. Didn't matter what we were doing, he was just happy to come along.

"Don't mention it. I planned to spend my morning in bed anyways so you got me out of the house."

"Please don't tell me you spent your day off searching for apartments in the heat with me, I feel terrible now." The weather had been less than forgiving all week, I was practically sweating through my top, I knew he had to be miserable in his dress shirt.

"Like I said, I needed something to fill my morning. I'm glad you called, I was sort of getting the feeling that I maybe came on a bit too strong. Or maybe you have a boyfriend and you didn't want to give me the wrong idea?" He joked. I played with the edge of my nail and smiled slightly.

"You didn't come on strong at all. I really was sick when you invited me to hang out with you and your friends. As for the boyfriend thing, I am seeing someone but that isn't why I haven't reached out. I've just been preoccupied." Harry gave me a look. The one people always gave you when they felt bad for you. I was a lost cause, I knew that but everyone else didn't have to make it so damn obvious.

"Are you busy this weekend?" He changed the subject, "I shouldn't be."

"There's a food festival happening at the park on Sacramento, I'd love for you to come with me. A buddy of mine is hosting one of the trucks, so that's one guaranteed free stall." He pulled out his phone and started typing out a message before sending it to me, "Feel free to decline but if it's a yes I know I'd be happy to see you."

"I suppose I do owe you a favor," I squinted at the text message and lowered my head. Harry tsked, "Don't think of it as a favor. You don't owe me anything, Amara. I'd just like for you to enjoy yourself. If I happen to be there, that's alright too."

"How coy of you—" I tapped a finger against my knee in consideration. A night out wouldn't hurt, "I'll be there. I promise I won't bail out on you this time."