𝑻 𝑯 𝑬 𝑵 𝑨 𝑵 𝑵 𝒀 (18+)

fifty-eight

AMARA

I never decorated my own place before.

A given considering I'd never lived by myself or for myself. This was different than adding a poster to a bedroom wall that didn't belong to me. This was my space, my room, my house and it was almost overwhelming. Going from no options to standing in an empty aisle at Home Goods because I couldn't decide which rug fit my living room better was a problem I welcomed.

No one else really understood how important buying a welcome mat was for me but he did and when I told him how excited I was he didn't laugh. Instead, he smiled and kissed me on the forehead and told me how proud of me he was and suddenly the last few weeks never happened. It was just me and him again, stealing borrowed time we always managed to make work. The glimpses of him I saw on his way to bed after a long day at work. The mornings before he left when he'd come in and peek at me brushing Jamie's teeth.

I'd be a liar if I said I didn't miss him. I thought about him when I woke up and when I went to sleep. When I couldn't sleep I stared at his number contemplating calling him because I knew that no matter what time it was he would always answer. It was selfish and somewhat cruel but I wanted him to miss me too. I knew that he did, that was a given but I wanted him to give me a reason to fight for this.

That was where our problem was. No matter how many times he tried to convince me that I fit in like a missing puzzle piece, I never felt whole. Not with Stephanie whispering venom into her children's ears for the sake of a grudge she didn't even care to hold anymore.

As long as there was a Stephanie.

There was no me and there was no us.

"Find everything you were looking for?" A bubbly cashier smiled and held up a white fur rug I was definitely going to regret buying later.

"Uh yeah, that's everything thanks."

I watched her ring me up before handing me a bag with an even brighter smile on her face, "Thank you for shopping with us! Have a great day!"

                                        ♥

"A white rug?" Harry looked down at my floor and chuckled to himself.

"Yes, a white rug. You shouldn't be walking around in here with your shoes on anyways," I glanced at his feet and he quickly kicked off his shoes. "Thank you for dropping this stuff off, my life has been a mess and I don't want my apartment to replicate it." Though I was severely failing at that right about now.

"I don't know, it looks pretty good in here to me. Did your friend help you finish everything else?"

Without looking up at him, I folded a blanket on my couch and sighed. "No, the department store dropped off the rest of my things and set the TV up and everything." Pausing, I bit my nail and frowned. "He's my boss, well he was my boss and now we're just—"

"Complicated?" Harry whispered. "Something along those lines. I'll figure it out."

"You always do. Did you need anything else? I have to go pick up my sister," he pointed at the door before moving to put back on his shoes.

"No, you're good. Thanks for stopping by, I'll see you later?"

"I'm free tonight if you're not busy?"

I tsked, "I have a thing tonight but I'll text you."

Harry smiled knowingly and rested his hand on the front door knob. "You don't sound too excited about this thing."