𝑻 𝑯 𝑬 𝑵 𝑨 𝑵 𝑵 𝒀 (18+)

thirty

A M A R A

"You know you could've just said you didn't want to come to Jose's birthday party." Zaria glared at me while sorting through a clothes rack. With the weekend I had, I'd completely forgotten she invited me to his party. Forgot to wish him a happy birthday too. "Shit, I'm sorry Zar. Dominic's architect came and we went over finalizing my designs and my dad was still here, it slipped my mind." Everything had been slipping my mind recently. Everything that didn't involve the Gray family. It felt like my life was starting to revolve around them and I didn't know whether that was a good or a bad thing.

"It's fine," she dragged out, "you wouldn't have wanted to come anyways. Jose invited Luis and it was a whole big thing, I don't normally tell my boyfriend your business but I wanted that piece of shit gone so I had to fill him in I hope you don't mind."

I didn't. Jose and I weren't exactly friends but it wouldn't have bothered me if he knew why Luis and I split. It would be easier that way, now, he had no excuse to randomly show up in places he was otherwise not wanted. "No, that's alright. Did he say something when he left?"

She shrugged and rolled her eyes, "it's honestly not even worth repeating. He's an idiot let's just leave it at that."

Gladly.

She walked around the rack and rested her head on my shoulders with a laugh, "Now back to what's important. This man gave you his credit card to fund you buying whatever you want for this trip to Italy and you're still acting clueless?"

Acting was a stretch. I wasn't oblivious to the obvious tension that had been building between Dominic and me. It was hard to ignore considering it got worse every time we were alone. I chose to ignore it because indulging was only going to complicate my life and his and while I was used to chaos, I wanted to go easy on him.

"It's no point going there, Zar. I admit we have had a few close calls but I don't think that's a door I should open. Besides, what if it all ends badly and it makes things awkward? I know he said my job would never be in jeopardy but what if it's just too much to deal with?" I didn't even want to think about it let alone risk it. This was the first time in my life that I was financially comfortable. I was helping my dad, I was paying back my loans. I was good. Call me selfish, but meaningless sex wasn't worth losing that.

"Be honest with yourself right now Amara do you honestly think he would force you out of his kid's lives just because you guys had a falling out? From what you've told me about him he seems way more mature than that." He was but I was trying to find any reason to ignore the pull in my chest whenever I looked at him. It wouldn't have been meaningless sex and that was the worst part of all of this.

"You should be the first one telling me how bad of an idea that would be. Regardless of tension, or the credit card, or the late-night talks—"

"Don't forget the car," she added.

"And the car, I'm not going to do anything. At least I won't initiate anything and he's far too respectful to try anything so problem solved." I hoped, "Now can you help me buy some outfits for this trip? I want to look good and you're the best-dressed person I know."

Successfully distracted, Zaria changed the subject and started looking for any and everything she thought would look good on me for the trip. We went to at least four more stores before I decided I'd had enough walking and wanted to go home. I also didn't want to spend too much money on Dominic's card. He told me to get whatever I wanted but that didn't mean I actually had to do it. Baby steps Amara. All of this was going to take some time to get used to but it was a positive adjustment. A necessary step toward learning how to spoil myself.