Torment.
That's all Matt was experiencing since discovering his feelings for you. And he had a doctors appointment today.
"So, Matt, how have you been feeling?"
Physically, he was fine. Emotionally, he was bruised and bleeding. It was a shame that the doctor couldn't do anything to fix that.
"Okay, I guess" He answered, looking down at his lap.
He hummed and wrote down some notes, her reaction not showing much belief. "What about your memory?"
"Actually.." He looked up at him. "I did have one memory come back to me last week"
"That's great" He said, though Matt wouldn't agree considering the context of the memory and the fact it wasn't more of a recent, important one. "I don't want to get your hopes up, but it's a good sign. More could come back, slowly or suddenly. Just be cautious, it could be overwhelming"
Matt scoffed at being overwhelmed.
"Do you have any concerns?"
If only he could help Matt repair a broken heart, or two
~
"You're really not coming?" Chris asked Matt, sitting on the couch at his and Nick's apartment.
"I don't see why I would" Matt was annoyed, this was the fifth time Chris asked the question since he came here.
"Because I want you to meet some people.."
Matt sighed at the thought of going to the opening of Jordan's bar. He didn't remember the owner, but he did know who would possibly be there. It isn't that he doesn't want to see you, but the week he knew you were gone, caused doubt in him deserving a second chance. He knew it could hurt him to see you and not have you, but he knew it would hurt you too.
"I'm..not feeling up to it" He replied, not knowing if Chris knew the deeper meaning behind it all.
"Okay, okay" Chris sighed. "But you should meet them at some point"
"Yeah. Maybe we can..set something up later"
Nick walked out holding a dish and three plates. He set it all down and handed Matt a plate full and he glared at him, when he saw what he was serving.
"Hey..I learned how to do it..now I wanna make it all the time!" Nick laughed, cutting himself a piece of your famous casserole and handing the plate to Chris.
"You're a goof" Matt looked at the food, sighed and took a bite. It didn't taste the same, it probably never could, but he found comfort in the meal.
"Jordan did say we could host a meet and greet there anytime, if we want to" Nick said, snapping Matt out of his thoughts.
"Yeah. Maybe" he agreed. "How..how does that usually work?"
"Well.." Nick stood up, walking to the bedroom and coming back with a notebook. When he came back, he handed it to Matt.
"These are our usual spaces, some new places that we could possibly book"
Matt went through the notebook, seeing lists of spaces around the US.
"Matt.." Nick started softly. "I still think you should try talk to her"
Matt shrugged. He didn't want to give up, but it was getting harder for him to wrap his head around the fact he may have lost his chance. But the idea of hurting you again was even stronger. What if the memories never came back? What if he can't be as good as he used to be?
