Alice and Matt hadn't spoken about what happened, they just both agreed they loved you too much to ever hurt you in the way they had. Mistakes happen, they told themselves. Matt felt relief when he kissed you at the altar, holding you for dear life the rest of the night.
The honey moon was great. Matt managed to talk himself into a delusion where he could forget about the night with Alice. He was grateful. He loved you more than anything in the world and he just wanted to make you happy. That night didn't change anything for him. When he thought about his life, he saw you standing while your children took their first steps. It worked, until you excused yourself to get drinks from the bar and his phone dinged.
When he heard Alice at the other end of the phone, he knew this wasn't going to end well.
"I'm pregnant"
You and Matt were due home a week following the call, and while he understood where Alice was coming from, he wished she would wait, because when you returned with drinks, Matt would do anything to go back in time.
Returning home to piles of laundry and jet lag, Matt and Alice agreed to meet for lunch with the intention of moving away from their mistake. The reality was different.
"Matt" she spoke softly, sitting across from him. It could be considered an nice day but they both had dark, heavy clouds over their heads, trying to find light in this situation. Matt nodded, unable to talk.
"How have you been?" Was the best he could come up with and it seemed good enough for Alice. Matt knew he had to be the strong one here. She was pregnant and scared. "What do we do?"
Alice had time to think considering she knew it was going to be one of the many things talked about today. She came to a decision that she would share the future of their circumstances with Matt, even if he didn't agree. "I'm keeping it"
Matt found himself agreeing. "Have you said anything to Jack?"
Alice shifted in her seat. "He was excited. Over the moon" She gushed. "He knows though. Not about you, but that it isn't his. We decided to stay together and things are looking up for us"
"That's great, Alice. Really good"
"There is one thing"
"Jack made it very clear when I told him about the baby" She started, unaware how to tell Matt without him feeling left out. "He asked me that the baby's real father has nothing to do with this" Matt wasn't sure he could live up to it without everything blowing up in their faces. Matt had no choice but to swallow the lump in his throat.
"How do we do that?" He asked. "We see each other a lot. I don't have a choice"
Alice shook her head. "Jack doesn't have to know who the father is. No one does. It's our secret"
~
Matt thought he'd be okay with this. Why wasn't he? The past eight months, Matt realised the worst feeling in the world was knowing Alice had doctors appointments about their baby and he couldn't be there. Matt remembered sitting in the drivers seat when Alice pulled out her phone and he heard his baby's heartbeat. Alice made sure to give you and Matt a copy of the scan to put on the refrigerator, so Matt could see his little girl every morning.
Matt knew there was only so much time left before baby Lucy, entered the world. He was a secondhand character in his own daughters life. It hurt, but nothing hurt more than when Jack put his hand on Alice's stomach when they talked about how excited they were for her arrival.
You had the right to feel jealous. Matt's attention was gone when Alice walked into a room. It was known how badly Matt wanted to be a father. You and Alice always talked about having children around the same time so they could be best friends. You knew it could take someone years to have a child.
