Tell Her That I Need Her (An Ed Sheeran Fan Fiction) (Paused)

+21

Charlotte’s POV

My head screamed for me to wake up, but for some reason I couldn’t. This nightmare I was in felt so realistic, everything playing back down to the smallest detail.

Ed’s room was dark, only a small desk lamp was lit, an outline of his hand writing words vigorously on paper. I stood there for a second, watching him as he grabbed the paper and crunched it up. “Fuck.” His hands pounded on the small desk, beer bottles clanking together. Just great, he was drunk and in a bad mood.

“Uh Teddy?” I whispered, fearing his reaction. “What do you want Charlotte?” Ed snapped at me, taking a swig of his beer. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid. It was May of 2011 and had been a little over a few months since I told Ed about the miscarriage. Since then he had rarely spoken to me and would usually avoid me at all costs. He was going on tour soon and I wanted to try and fix things.

He turned to look at me, “Well? I’m fucking waiting.” He was angry and had been angry at me for a long time. Anytime we did talk he’d blame me for the miscarriage, yell at me about my health problems or make me leave because he had to write.

I blinked a bit, to keep tears from coming through, “What are we Ed? What do you want to come of this?” I tried to pick my words carefully because any little slip would make him snap. He stared blankly into space, opening his mouth a few times, but shutting it before anything could come out.

“To be honest, I don’t think I want anything to do with you. Things haven’t been alright Middleton and I just don’t see this going anywhere anymore. You’re clingy and I need space.” He started acting like my brother did when he was pissed. It took a second for everything to register, his words slowly making sense in my mind. We were over.

Tears started streaming down my face, “So, that’s it? You’re giving up because of what? Because your fucking music career is better than having me? Or do you want to become single so you can fuck girls on tour? Is that it Edward?” I wanted to hit him. He may be hurting but I was also hurting. Any time he yelled at me I’d stay quiet and just accept his angry words, taking it out on myself later after he left. This time I wasn’t letting him make me feel down.

He stood up walking towards me, “Why don’t you just run off and leave me be? I’ve got work to do. Don’t you have a meal to throw up or something?” His words were like venom, sending pangs of sadness to my heart. “Or do you have another baby to kill?” His face was hard, hatred written across it.

“You’re one to fucking talk! You left me here alone while you were off hanging out with other girls, making your shitty fucking music and putting everything before me! This is as much your fault as it is mine! Do you not fucking get it Ed? I love you and I always have. You’re a drunk and an asshole, you never fucking cared about me!” He was now standing right in front of me, fist clenched. My eyes stared right into his, “What the fuck do you want me to do Ed? I want you, I fucking need you. I’ll do anything to fix us.” His eyes were burning holes into me.

“You can’t do anything. There isn’t anything to fix. We aren’t anything.” He was still remaining calm, but his words made him sound like an asshole. “What the fuck is wrong with you Ed? You cheated on me and I fucking stuck with you. You only wanted sex when we were together and I did what you asked. Now you tell me we are done without even talking about it?” I clenched my fist, “ So what?  Have you been lying to me this whole damn time? Did I mean anything to you?” We stood there in silence for a bit before he tried to get past me.

“I’m leaving Charlotte, I have things to do.” I wouldn’t budge, keeping myself in between him and the door. “No Edward you aren’t fucking leaving until you let me know when the fuck you stopped loving me!” My voice was louder than his and I heard the door to his brother’s room open.

Ed’s eyes never left mine, “You want to fucking know why I stopped loving you? Because you’re a worthless fucking slag, you killed the one thing left between us. You killed my fucking son, all because you couldn’t take care of yourself. You did this to hurt me; you did this because you can’t stand to see me making something of myself. You disgust me; get out of my fucking sight.” Venom dripped off the end of every word, breaking my heart completely. For the first time ever Ed forced himself past me, causing my small frame to hit the floor.

“Oi, what the fuck is wrong with you Ed?” Matt stepped out of his room, rushing to my aid, “Don’t fucking push your girlfriend over like that!” He helped me up, waiting for Ed’s reply.

Ed looked at us, scoffing like he was better than the pair of us, “She ain’t my girlfriend mate. She ain’t anything to me.”

I shot straight up, inhaling deeply and reaching up to wipe the tears from my face. My body was sweaty as I tried to keep my cries silent. All the feelings and thoughts from that day came rushing back, hitting me like a storm.

“Hey love,” He paused, “what’s wrong?” Ed appeared from the bathroom in fresh clothing. He dropped the towel he was drying his bright orange hair with and sat next to me. He waited about three minutes before speaking again, “Babe, don’t shut me out. You’re my girlfriend; I need you to speak to me.” Still I said nothing, not wanting to upset him. He placed his finger under my chin, lifting it up so I could look into his eyes. “C’mon Char, talk to me.”

I inhaled deeply as hit thumb gently wiped the tears off my face, “I’m fine Ed. You have an interview soon, you should really get going.” I pulled away from him, rolling over and pulling the blanket back over my shoulder.

Ed’s POV

At this point I was conflicted, but I knew what I had to do and I wasn’t going to mess things up with Charlotte again. Getting out of the bed I grabbed my phone, calling Stuart who was in the hotel room next to me. “Hey Stuart, I’m gonna need you to cancel the interviews today or reschedule them for later.” I ran my hand through my hair, knowing he was going to be upset.

“Ed you git, these are the people sponsoring the concert. You can’t just back out.” He didn’t sound happy, but I didn’t really care. Charlotte meant more than a radio show. I knew the fans would be disappointed but they would understand.

Charlotte had stood up, “No Ed don’t cancel. Please, I don’t want you to. Taylor and the boys will be upset with you along with your fans and the radio station. I’ll be fine; we can talk after the concert tonight, okay?” She hugged me, her head leaning against my shoulder. I wrapped my free arm around her.

“Never mind Stuart, I’ll come, but I need time after the interview to myself. Can you arrange that?” I kissed the top of Charlotte’s head, “Yeah mate. Is it something with Charlotte?”

“Yeah, but I’ll see you in a bit.” Usually I’d wait for Stuart to say goodbye, but this time I didn’t, shutting the phone. From the next room I could hear Stuart curse me. Charlotte giggled, “You are so mean to him Ed.” She pulled away, trying to make her way back to the hotel room bed, but I grabbed her by the waist.

She giggled, trying to fight me, “Let me go Teddy. I wanna go back to sleep.” I lifted her up, moving towards the bed, “Put me down Teddy. I’m tired.”

When I set her down she pouted, but was soon in a laughing fit as my hands tickled her side. She was kicking and squirming underneath me, gasping for air. There was a knock on the door. I said, “Come in!” and kept tickling Charlotte without missing a beat.

Two people came over, ripping me off of Charlotte. We fell into a heap on the floor laughing. Niall stood up and helped Harry up, “Need a hand there Ed?” Harry questioned with his hand stuck out.

“I don’t accept help from traitors.” I smirked, lifting myself off the ground. Harry looked at me with a faked hurt expression. I shoved him lightly and walked over to Charlotte to give her a kiss. She gladly accepted, kissing me back. When the kiss was over I placed my forehead against hers, “I’ll be back later and we are going out to dinner whether you like it or not.” I pulled away, kissing her forehead and heading out with the guys who had stolen my phone.

Zayn appeared at the door, giving me a chance to grab my phone back, “Come on lads. We are going to be late and you know that I hate being late.” Harry and Niall saluted him, “Yes sir!” They both shouted earning an annoyed glare from Zayn.

Charlotte had been watching us as we left; I gave her a small wave and shut the door. Hopefully she would tell me what has been bothering her for the past few days. I’m just praying that things don’t get as bad as they did before.