Tell Her That I Need Her (An Ed Sheeran Fan Fiction) (Paused)

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Ed’s POV

We were inside the museum and I stuck by Alex for the majority of it. Charlotte was dragging Taylor and Emily, one of Taylor’s dancers, around to each exhibit. Alex and I hung it back, casually checking out each place that we’d go, but I wanted to watch something else.

“Stop staring at her. It’s so strange.” Alex matched my pace, drinking from the souvenir cup that she had found. I couldn’t stop watching Charlotte. I was watching the way she moved, how overly excited she was when she went to each station. She was in her element here, she was able to tell everyone everything about each exhibit before they got there.

I grabbed the cup out of Alex’s hand, “I can’t. She’s so cute when she’s like this.” After a few seconds struggle I found the straw, sipping the cool beverage out of it.

Alex pinched my cheek, “Awe how cute. Ed’s got a little bit of a baby crush on Charlotte.” She grabbed for the cup, snatching it back, “Oh sorry it’s not a crush, more of a love hate thing considering we saw you two hate fucking each other on the couch in Nashville.”

A shiver was sent up and down my spine, remembering the last time I was with Charlotte was a time I wouldn’t be forgetting soon. “Awe girl, don’t get mad atcha boy cuz I be tappin dat a-“

Charlotte walked over to us, and I cut my sentence short, “Oh hey Charlottte.” Charlotte looked at me strangely, but dismissed me as she gave her attention to Alex.

“Emily and Taylor want you to join us. I know personally that Ed isn’t very entertaining. He wouldn’t even listen to me when I would try to teach him constellations.” I rolled my eyes, every time we went to a museum she’d make me seem like an idiot. “So, you should come and have fun with us.” Alex looked surprised, giving the two girls that stood behind Charlotte an odd look.

“Uh, er, well no I’ll stay here thanks.” The awkwardness in Alex’s voice made me feel like I had something to use against her. She didn’t like being around too many girls at once. Charlotte pouted and walked back over to the girls that were standing by an aircraft. “Alright, I’ll tell them.”

As soon as Charlotte left I burst into laughter, “Oh this is gold.” I placed my hand on Alex’s shoulder, the other hand holding my stomach, “The brave and mighty Alex is afraid of other girls.”

“Shut up Ed, that’s not true.” She took a sip from her cup, making the annoying sucking noise as she neared the bottom.

“I call you’re bluff. You are definitely afraid of other girls. That’s literally the one thing I’ve seen you be afraid of. Oh this is truly gold.” I couldn’t stop laughing. Alex seemed so fearless, but right now she was completely vulnerable.

“Shut the fuck up! I’m not afraid of them.” I continued to press her buttons because I found it fun to watch her almost squeeze the top of her cup.

“Then what is it?” I inquired. “Are you afraid that they are going to try and hook you up with someone? Or maybe make you watch one of those chick flicks? What is the tough and fearless Alex afraid of?”

She continued to squeeze the cup, “I’m in love with Emily, okay?” Just as she said that the cup top flew off, hitting a low hanging lighting fixture before smacking the floor. She clamped her hands over her mouth, dropping the empty cup to the floor.

I picked up the cup and the top, not knowing what to say to her, “Er, so are you-“ I trailed off, not wanting to offend her.

“No, I’m not a lesbian. I’m a free spirit. I like people who like me.” Her voice was muffled, since her hands were still covering her face. She seemed so embarrassed and ashamed about admitting this to me.

“So Emily likes you?” I was now curious. It made sense though. She had never given any guys a change on tour. Even the musical men I knew she liked.

“Please, just drop it Ed.” I knew I had pushed her too far when she started looking teary eyed. I felt bad about teasing her. Clearly this wasn’t something she wanted to talk about.

Charlotte’s POV

The museum had to have been one of my favorite places. I felt at home here. Being around Ed and Taylor often made me feel alone and isolated. Everyone on tour talked about music or musical things. I took music classes in school, but it wasn’t one of my favorite things to do. I’d rather read or go to museums or learn history.

Ed and Alex had disappeared from our sights, probably for Ed to go outside and have a cigarette. The fans here were respectful to Ed and Taylor. A few of the younger ones came up, asking for autographs and pictures, but the majority of them stood to the side, taking “secret” pictures and murmuring. We were nearing the exit and I didn’t want to leave. This had been one of my favorite parts of the whole tour.

“Cam, we’ve got to actually go.” Stuart had come up to me twenty minutes ago telling me that we had to leave and go to the venue. Ed and Taylor had sound check to do before the show and Ed had wanted to find Nando’s while we were here. We had already spend about two hours here and I wanted to check out some of the American historical monuments around.

The rest of the group was gathering outside as Stuart and I made our way to the bus. “Actually I was thinking about staying here. I really want to check out a few of the sites before the concert.” Everyone was boarding the bus, excluding Ed and Alex who were already sitting in the back seats.

“Char, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Stuart gave me a weary look as he pulled me aside, “You don’t really know you’re way around here. I don’t want you to get lost here.”

I groaned, “Stu, I’m an adult. Stop worrying so much. If I get lost I can always ask someone for directions.” He still didn’t like the idea, “I’m not incompetent. I do know how to find my way around places.”

I walked behind him, pushing him towards the door, “Get on the bus. I’ll be back before the show starts.” At first he was reluctant, but after a few seconds he budged.

“Fine, be back by show time. I need you to help with show prep tonight.” I nodded, waving for him to board the bus. He mumbled something under his breath before stepping on. The bus driver shut the door and started the bus up. I waved to Stuart as they started to pull off.

When the back of the bus became parallel to my body Ed was there. Staring at me from the inside. He looked concerned as he stood up to head towards the front. I wasn’t going to wait around for him to get off and try to follow me so I did what I always did best; I ran.

Running had always given me freedom. It was a good way for me to relieve stress and I seemed to have some of my most creative moments during a run. Running always took my mind off the pain. The pain of having to pretend to be fine while I deep down I couldn’t handle being around Ed. Putting on a front was something I did well in front of those that I knew, especially Ed. Putting on a mask around people I didn’t know made me uncomfortable, I always felt as though I was betraying them.

Today with the fans had shown that I was still deeply hurting from the break up. The girl that said Ed was amazing was right, he could be amazing, but they didn’t know half of the story. They didn’t know a single thing about the Ed that had been with me all the years prior or even recently. I wanted to tell her everything that had happened, just shout it out to finally get it out, but I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t going to ruin Ed’s image because I was upset. I loved him too much to watch something like that damage his career.

Being around him and being his friend was something I wish I could have avoided, but it seemed like there was no way to escape him. Whether I was at here or at home I would hear about him. He’d always be in my life unless I decided to move to a primitive area in a country like Brazil or Africa. Both were off the cards because I’m not able to go without a running shower for less than a day, but the thought of having an Ed free life seemed to be something that I wished. I felt guilty for it because I did love him and he did love me, but I couldn’t help it.

Maybe a small get away was something I needed. Maybe running away from the situation to a new place with new people would help. Maybe I could hide away from Ed, from everyone and live peacefully.