Scandal|2YEON|ENG

O14

Nayeon was in a carriage alone with her father. She looked out at the houses moving away, her eyes sad and her heart heavy.

-Nayeon.- Tzuyu called her. -What's happening?

-Nothing, father.- said the girl. -I'm just worried.

Tzuyu put a hand on hers. -You have chosen Edward and I can assure you that he is an excellent match. He's cultured, handsome, intelligent... What is it about him that worries you?

Nayeon had tears in her eyes. -I don't want to go away from you. I will miss you.- the girl, that had always been used to consoling and keeping the pain inside her for years, confessed.

-We can meet whenever you want, even every day. My daughter, you need not worry about this.

-Father... I...

Jimin stopped the carriage and Nayeon fell silent.

-What, Nayeon? Tell me.

-I... I loved another man after agreeing to marry Edward. For our sake he walked away.

-How did you love him?

-We have shared only a few glances. We were both too scared to confess our feelings. We were scared because we knew we couldn't love each other. Yet, we both knew what the other was feeling.

Tzuyu sighed. -If it had been one of your sisters I would have been very angry. I hope he's really gone and won't disturb you.

-He won't do it.- Nayeon assured. She could assure her father, because that person's heart was broken.

Mr. Im opened the carriage door and got out, then helping his daughter. Nayeon suddenly saw hundreds of eyes on her. Hundreds of friendly and unknown eyes. There were the Morrises, Edward's grandparents, her mother, Momo and her husband, Minhyuk and his wife, Jihyo and her betrothed, several gentlemen and their families. A lot of unknown people who were only there to eat and show off their best clothes and the only one who really mattered wasn't there. Her gaze was fixed on the empty seat next to Richard, yet it had to be on Edward, on the man she was supposed to love.

-Nayeon, are you okay?- her father whispered to her.

Nayeon looked up and nodded. Her father smiled at her and started walking towards the altar. Every step was like lead. She felt the weight of her sad fate hanging over her. If only she had touched her hand a few times, instead of removing it in fear, if only she had looked at her longer instead of looking away in disgust from herself and then from her, if only she returned those smiles so kind and elegant. If only she had the courage to break some rules. If she had the courage to confess everything, to run away with her. The Anglican Church says that men and women were created to love each other and to procreate, it says nothing about women and women and men and men, so it is wrong because together they cannot procreate. Still, Nayeon was unhappy going to a man, to what should be right. She took slow, graceful steps, steps that Jeongyeon had always commented on as elegant. She smiled at that thought. Her beloved and innocent Jeongyeon that she had pushed away for the sake of both. Jeongyeon was already unloved, she couldn't do this to her. Yet what she felt for her stepsister made her feel invincible against the world. Against all the world except her father. She could not do him such an injustice. She stopped in front of the altar and looked at the seat next to Richard one last time.

-Nayeon, you are beautiful. Didn't your sister come? I know how close you are.- Edward asked her holding her hand.

Nayeon shook her head and smiled. -Now I'm with you, that's enough to be happy.

The two turned to the priest, who began with the sign of the cross. A thousand words, a thousand readings, a thousand things in which she suddenly no longer believed, a thousand promises made just to show other families that the two of them would be the most successful, with the most love, with the most beautiful children... But would God have been happy to see a man and a woman who united only to procreate and not to love each other? Wasn't God Love? Wasn't it a sin to unite without love?

-The Bible does not explicitly forbid two women to love each other. It says that the man and the woman must love each other and procreate, it says that the man is in the world to procreate, that it is his right and duty, but not that two women cannot love each other.

That was the last thing Jeongyeon said to her before Nayeon walked through their bedroom door. Those words were the only thing she could hear as the priest continued to speak of the importance of her union with Edward. And thinking that she would have to go through such agony even when Jeongyeon got married. Disgust hit her stomach. But Jeongyeon was wrong: if man and woman were created to procreate, then it is wrong for two women who cannot procreate to love each other. And Jeongyeon had skipped some church readings because male same-sex relationships are prohibited and called an "abomination." And in the New Testament, in the Letter to the Romans, Paul speaks of women who "changed natural relationships into relationships against nature" and of men who abandon "the natural relationship with women, ...by committing ignominious acts between men and men". So, yes, it was all wrong and Nayeon didn't even have to think about it, especially at that moment when she was uniting with another man. Thinking of someone else while married was certainly the worst betrayal.

-...I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Nayeon and Edward turned to side by side. For some strange reason the girl turned towards the church door and there she saw that slim figure in a black dress, even more beautiful than she usually was. Edward took her cheeks and pressed her lips against Nayeon's but her eyes weren't closed, she was watching Jeongyeon and Jeongyeon was watching her touching her lips and feeling so much anger, disappointment and sadness. Sana had always told her that black dresses were worn at a funeral and this was a funeral: welcome to the funeral of Im Jeongyeon's heart.

i am psychologically destroyed