Born To Bleed - KTH FF (BOOK III)

-FIFTEEN-

Placing the gun beside me, I took a deep breath, and glanced once again at Eunwoo.

He's okay. You're okay. Everything is okay.

It felt like ages before I relaxed again. Resting against the wall, Taehyung looked down at me, with anger, worry, and confusion written in his eyes.

"What was that?" he asked me, and for the first time, I took a good look at him. He must have just taken a shower because his hair was still wet. He wore nothing but black silk pajama bottoms. I swear he must have worked out every second in jail. Every one of his muscles, from the six-pack of his abs to the muscle of his arms, were tightened up and flawless. He looked like a gladiator, and I was the lion he was trying to slay.

Stop staring.

"I'm no psychologist, but I'd have say that that would be a side effect from the last five months," I replied as I pulled my knee to my chest.

He looked over at Eunwoo. "Should I take him out of the room?"

"I don't know. Would you like to keep your arms?" Because if he tried to take my son away from me, he may just lose all his limbs.

"If I have to lose them to keep him safe, I would do it," he said as he brushed Eunwoo's hair back.

"Safe from me?"

"Yes, you. You hurt people. The only person you care about is yourself."

He was starting to piss me off.

"You know, I was in this room when you called," he whispered. "He was so small, I swear he only took up the space between my wrist and palm. He was so calm...so sleepy. I wanted him to have the world, but most of all, I wanted him to have his mother. I thought it was my fault—that             Shin-hye had gotten to you because of me. Then you had to fucking call and tell me you needed time. The rational part of me knew that something must have happened. But, Y/N, for the life of me I cannot understand what in the hell it was that you couldn't come to me with? Am I that incompetent that you couldn't trust me? Couldn't tell me the truth?"

"I was strung out on enough coke to kill a parade of elephants," I answered, cutting him off before he could insult himself and me any further. I refused to be his emotional punching bag.

His entire body turned to me. "Wh...What?"

With a sigh, I closed my eyes. I was only going to tell this story once, he needed to know, no one else.

"I was doped up with coke three times day and it wasn't the low quality stuff, it was the best of the best...ours, courtesy of Shin-hye and Jungwoo, the flight attendant on my jet. You know, what I remember the most was the feeling. My heart felt like it was constantly trying to pound a hole through my chest. Escaping, killing Shin-hye, it was all a blur. But I also remember the phone call, I had walked five miles in the snow covered hills of Friuli to make that call. Every word of it was the clearest moment in my mind. Listening to Eunwoo breathe through the phone, I swore that I would not allow my son to see me like that. I couldn't come home because I physically Could. Not. Come. Home. Somehow I ended up in an abandoned cabin. And the moment I thought I was safe, I passed out for two straight days. But that was the easy part." I sighed, keeping my eyes closed. I didn't want to see him.