Episode: Six, Part 5.

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Duvet by Bôa♪And you don't seem to understandA shame you seemed an honest manAnd all the fears you hold so dearWill turn to whisper in your earAnd you know what they say might hurt youAnd you know that it means so muchAnd you don't even feel a thing♪

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Duvet by Bôa

And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I laid there, staring the the alarm flicking by the minute. The sun glistening through the light coloured curtains, Joel's steady breaths landing on my chest, a moment of peace. I didn't know how to feel at first, betrayed? Disappointed? Hurt? Angry? No. Not at all. When I woke up I realised, I felt understanding, sad? Yes, but I knew he was doing this to keep us safe. The disgusting truth. Sure, Joel wasn't as quick and on his feet as much he might have been before but he was still a hell of a good fighter.

Joel stirred in his sleep, groaning as he woke up. "What time is it?" He asked, "Five am." I replied gently.
"You have to go at seven." He reminded me, my heart seemed to stop. He moved his head from my chest to look me in the eyes. "I don't want you to go." He admitted, his eyes full of pain. "Then come with us." I told him.
"I can't." His voice was a whisper.
"Why not?"
"Cause I'm- I'll just get the two of you killed." He sighed,
"You wouldn't. You know why?" I smiled
"Why?"
"Because you are the strongest most dangerous man I've ever met. And that is what makes you good at protecting people." I told him, his face went slightly pink at the comment.
"I think you get first place on the most dangerous man, but still. I can't go. If something happened I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I trust Tommy more than myself on this."
"I know. I still wish I could change your mind though." I sighed.
There was a pause for a moment before Joel rested his forehead on mine, pulling his arms over my waist some more "Yknow, Tommy said something last night."
"Hmm? What did he say?" I asked,
"He said that you'd go all the way back to Boston for me. Said he could see it in your eyes, the way you look at me." Joel answered, silently asking if it was true.
"Joel, I'd go all the way back to FEDRA if you asked me to... I'd do anything you tell me to if it means both our safety or happiness." I said with a stern look in my eyes.
"I wouldn't want that, Sugar. But I do want you to go with Tommy." He copied my stern look. "Then I will. Will you be waiting for us to get back?" I pulled him closer to me, he nodded, "I will. I promise." He smiled, there was a long silence between us. Comfortably drowning in each other's presence, eyes closed letting the tides of pain sink us deeper.

"I don't want to go either." I said, pulling us out the water.
"I know." Joel sighed, my eyes watering. His eyes opened to see mine blurred, his hand rose to my cheek. "Im sorry, my love." His were now shining with tears. I pulled my head to his chest, holding him tight as he did the same. Holding each other, terrified of the passing time. "Im sorry." Joel chocked out through his tears, mine landing on his naked skin, soaking in the hairs, "Joel, please." I sobbed "Don't leave us." The time ticked on as we both fell into sleep again, tears drying on our faces.

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