Falling || Jack Champion

twenty nine

October 14th

"Hey Marcus." I give him an awkward side hug when he walks into the coffee shop. It is the one we went to the couple of days we hung out.

It's been forever since I've seen him. I forgot how pretty he was.

We get our coffee, with awkwardness and barely any conversations. When we sit down at stools near the window, he smiles.

I give him a smile back and grab one of his free hands. "Okay so, there is a lot to unpack, and I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"It's alright C, you can hurt them I will be fine."

I look down at my drink and then back up at him, thinking about how I want to put the thoughts into words. My brain is super jumbled.

"If I go on a rant you won't interupt?"

"Nope." He assures, shaking his head.

"Well I guess I never imagined getting with anyone. Not that we even got together but like kissed. Because I literally haven't kissed someone in like four years. And then I kissed Jack. And freaked out. I hate relationships. I hate being with people and getting close. So I ran from him and found you, someone I knew would be temporary and convinced myself that something was different in you. Not that there's not, you're great but still. Anyways. I fucked up because I like jack."

He nods slowly, blinking once. I wait for him to say anything.

"Im not mad. I understand that."

I finally let out my pent in breath, saved from nervousness. "im sorry that it had to happen like this, you have no idea how shitty I feel about the entire situation."

"You are fine Charlie." He squeezes my hand and bumps his knee against mine playfully.

"I feel like there's way more- actually I know there is way more to the story, but I cant really describe it."

"Thats alright frand." He says, playing with his words.

"Im glad we are friends." I say.

"Yeah," He pulls away his hand. "Friends." I laugh at him loudly and roll my eyes.

"Who happened to have a couple good kisses." I joke. I never pictured myself joking about kissing someone.

"We did indeed."

__

After our coffee date, I definitely feel better. There is so much weight taken off of my shoulders from one simple conversation.

My mind is less fuzzy. It made me want to be with people I love.

I am glad that Marcus and I were able to become friends and that he helped me grow.

From the things in my life happening right now, I've realized how much I am growing. Even though the thought of change makes me sick sometimes, I am thankful.

Hopefully, I will be able to access my feelings easier from here on. I need to accept that Jack and Jenna are here for the long run and stop being so timid with everyone.

Life is vulnerability, being uncomfortable, and growing. I've never taken any of those thing lightly.

But other people do it every day. A million times a day. There is no reason I cant.