(POSSIBLY CANCELLED,,) Steven universe x reader || "Impossible"

Barn Mates

"-And then I'll say, "Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?" And then she'll say, "Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!" Peridot, Facet 5." Peridot stopped recording and turned to Lapis.

"Let's begin." She smiled.

"...This isn't gonna work." Lapis turned away from Peridot.

"Wait, what?" She asked.

"Yeah; What?" Y/n added, putting their hands on their hips.

"I really thought I would be living alone here." Lapis shifted her eyes towards Peridot. "And if not alone, with you or anyone else."

"Barns.com has some free spaces across the street." Y/n fished in their pocket for their phone.

"Really?"

"No. You're staying with Peridot." Y/n deadpanned, sliding their phone back into their pocket. "Mmm, I may have a compromise that you could deal with."

Y/n sifted through their other pocket and withdrew a black marker. "Haven't you considered how great this barn is, you have a high ceiling, flat land you can do whatever with, and you live in the countryside." They rambled, making a small divider line.

"Eh? Eh??" Y/n asked. Lapis and Peridot stood on opposite sides of the dark line.

"No! No way!" Lapis exclaimed. "...Why can't I live with you?" She turned towards the human.

"With my nosy, corny, cheesy parents?? No way, no how. First it's, "You have a girlfriend??" and then, "You need to take her out, when I was your age—" and after that, "Wanna see their baby pictures?"

"Can I at least see where you live?" Asked Lapis.

"No."

"What's the problem?" The small green gem finally asked. "You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those!" Peridot thought for a couple seconds. "Oooh, actually, I want the paint cans. You wanna trade something?"

"I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem." Lapis glared at Peridot, then turned away.

"I... might have to call in special forces. This is getting out of hand, even for me." Y/n sighed, retrieving their phone and texting Steven to come over.

"...In the meantime until he gets here, what's wrong? Why don't you want to live with her?" Y/n asked, concerned.

"It's her." Lapis Lazuli looked at Peridot.

"Eh?!" Peridot flinched recoiling at the thought of being hated.

"She's the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth!"

"Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to Earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us." Peridot defended.

"You used me like everyone else did!" Lapis said in vexation.

Y/n listened, then added, "Peridot, you should at least apologize."

"Why? it's not like that anymore! It's different now; I'm different!"

"True that." Y/n added. "She's a little less annoying." They joked, walking over to Peridot and rubbing the green gem's hair.