𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 / 𝘛𝘖𝘔 𝘒𝘈𝘜𝘓𝘐𝘛𝘡

Fucked

I ended up waking up in his bed the next morning naked

"JADEN" I yelled
"shut up" he quietly said into his pillow

I slapped his arm covering my body with the blankets
He lifted his head up and yawned
"What" he said in a groggy voice
"Today we need to take pictures and shit so get your ass up because i'm not gonna be here tomorrow" I said getting up sliding my panties back on with one of jadens shirts that I didn't notice I put on them I put my mini skirt back on.

"Your hot" Jaden said tiredly
"Shush an get up" I blushed walking out of the room with my makeup smeared everywhere
I didn't really care when my
makeup was messed up it was my look

Jaden got up and dressed somewhat
"Alright what's on the agenda lover" He snakes his arm around my waist making me heat up

"pictures first and yes we need to change outfits to make it look like we've been together for awhile" I snap looking up at him turning around in his arm

"Yes ma'am" He smiled kissing my cheek

We did the photos

I posted them to instagram
after like 5 hours of doing these photos

Me and Jaden finally officially say goodbye to each other after that and I leave to go back home after changing back into my clothes

I get home plopping down looking at my phone
I see bill comment on the pictures

-𝘎𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺!! 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶-
the comment said

I start getting frustrated because I hated this what I was doing to myself
Keeping myself closed off from my best friend

I ended up trying to call bill
He answered shortly
"Hello?" he said
"Bill" I said softly
"lexi are you okay?" he asked
"Yeah I am" my breathe was a little shaky
"Wanna get some breakfast and have a chat?" Bill asked softly
"I'd love that" I smiled softly into the phone

We hung up

I got my shit together and got ready
Honestly can't comprehend what I just did
I used a famous guy to make another guy I'm involve with jealous

I still never fixed my makeup but I walked down the lobby waiting for bill to pick me up

I see his car and walk over to it getting in
"Wanna explain these" bill holds the posts up to my face of me and jaden
"How's tom" I quickly change the subject not wanting to explain
"He's terrible and looks like shit lex and he seen these and got even worse, he don't leave his room" Bill sounded concerned
"It's only been a week" Bill kept driving

"Am I not aloud to be happy I think I dealt with most of his shit I can't handle it anymore." I started tearing up turning to the window
"Lex what really happened he won't talk to me" He sighed
"He told me the girl he's with now treats him better than me an he's never cheated on her but I can't even get into a relationship with him for one night without him cheating or faking a proposal" I snapped yelling now

Bill pulled over parking the car as I started balling my eyes out
"I don't know but your good for him even if he's not good for you. I want you to be around him even if it's hard to put up with, he needs you and you need him" He looked sad once I turned to look at him

"those pictures were takin earlier today and I wanted to make tom jealous" I looked down at my feet
"Well you did something" he pulled back into the road to drive
"You two are like chemicals that can't mix but need each other" He kept driving
"Bill he just uses me because i'm his last resource" I sigh
"He's stupid but he's grown and he can fix his mistakes wether he has a girlfriend or not" He said
"Where we going?" I asked
"Back to the house because you two need to get your shit together, you both look like shit and it's not okay" He said looked at my smeared makeup

We get to the house 5 minutes later
I get out and so does bill

I let bill go in first because I'm honestly scared.

"Tom" Bill screamed as he opens the door
I cover my ears

No response from tom
Bill walks over to his room and opened his room door
I followed behind
I lean against the door frame looking like shit and Tom had a pillow over his face

"Maybe later" Bill whispers to me walking to the couch ordering us food

I walk in closing the door behind me and it's really cold and pitch black

I tiptoed over to his bed climbing into bed with him
I put the covers under me and scoot over to wear he is and lay on his bare chest

He wasn't under the covers and was only wearing pj pants

"I'm sorry I don't deserve you" I whisper
"I know i'll never be enough for you but i'm tired of getting hurt" I added into the whisper placing my arm over his torso

He took the pillow off his face placing his hand on my upper back gently rubbing it
"You look happy in the pictures" He cut breathes like he's been crying non stop

I gently sit my chin on his chest looking up at his face
"I did it to make you jealous" I whisper

He slowly looks down into the dark trying to meet my eyes
"I don't know what it is about you kaulitz but I love you" I whispered almost in tears

He lifted his hand into my hair playing with it
"I love you more than you know"
He whispers back

"Are we ever gonna be happy tom" I gently say as he plays with my hair
"Someday lexi" He said with a crack in his voice
"I only want you I hope you know" I lay my head back on his chest

"I'll only ever want you in this life and next and next" Tom gently smiled to himself

"What's so bad about me that you can't be with me" I whisper
"I hurt you over and over and I wanna just dive in the ocean and drown when I do and I'm scared that if we get into a good relationship and i fuck it up there won't be an us at all" He breathed lightly

"It's just us right now tom" I smiled against his chest
"It is" He turned to his side to face me not that he could see me

"We'll make it tom, I believe in us" I wiped my tears sliding my fingers into his hair pushing myself my self up against his bare chest

I feel like i'm home

I just stayed in his embrace for it felt like hours