𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 / 𝘛𝘖𝘔 𝘒𝘈𝘜𝘓𝘐𝘛𝘡

apologies and goodbyes

"Thank you for coming" Tom says as a family friend walks through the doors

It's been a month but I still can't wrap my head around it fully

We had all of our things shipped back from Hawaii

I pick up a picture that was sitting on one of the tables
It was one from when tom and bill wasn't even in my life and I just had tobi

It was me and him against the world but when tom and them came back in my life

Tobi was just so happy when bill took him out for ice cream or got him toys and when tom would put him down to sleep

We were a family.

"Doin okay?" Tom whispered in my ear sitting his chin on my shoulder looking over it and looking down at the picture
"Yeah" I reply softly into a small smile

Tom was my biggest support system ever since the day

I sit the picture down turning my body to face tom

"Who's all here" I ask
"Just a couple family friends no one else bills suppose to be here soon" Tom pulled me in kissing my head

It was just a small get together anyways for tobias and some pictures

A couple minutes later bill opened the front door gently seeing us
He sprinted to us giving us hugs

"I made some cupcakes" He smiled looking between us

Bill was the sunlight we needed to keep happy

"Thank you" I reply taking them and walking to the kitchen leaving tom to spend time with his brother

"They still mad" Tom questions sliding his hands into his pockets
"I'm not sure haven't talked to them since the hospital" Bill shrugged turning to look at the pictures set up

He smiles with tears filling his eyes but he didn't cry
Tom looked over at him and put a hand on bills shoulder letting him know it's okay to be sad

Bill turned hugging tom
I walked back over to the boys

We got rid of a lot of tobis things so they arnt just sitting reminders of what we lost

"How you doing lex" He gave me a sorrow look and pulled me into a hug
"Never been better" I lied hugging him back

Tom placed his hand on the bottom of my back

"Thank you for being here bill, you were tobis favorite person" I smiled pulling away
"God father you mean" He laughed softly trying to lighten the mood
I nod getting interrupted by the door opening

I seen gorge and T walk in
They didn't look like their normal selfs

"Are you fucking drunk" Tom snaps trying not to get loud walking over to them
"We had a few drinks tom calm down" T said
"No your eyes are red and I can smell you from a mile away" He snapped looking between the two
"Dude we're here to give our respects just let us we were in his life to" George said looking at tom
"That's fine but if anything happens your gone" He said walking back over to me and bill

"Their drunk maybe their just a mess and can't heal yet" Bill said looking over at T
"What ever happened between you two?" I looked up at bill
"She kissed me but I realized in that moment she wanted something I didn't have" He said looking down at me now
"Like what?" I ask
"Time" he softly said smiling at me
"I don't have time to wait around on her to figure out wether she wants me or someone else" He added

It was understandable to say the least they both deserved happiness

I turned around being pushed into the wall

A fight broke out
And it wasn't tom this time

I don't know what happened but I held onto the wall to keep me up

Tom ended up in the middle of it though of course

"Are you fucking kidding me" Bill yelled

I seen the door open and everyone left
I seen tom sitting down against the wall holding one of the framed photos and blood on his lip

I rushed over to him bending down in front of him cupping his face in my hands

"Baby what happened" I gave him a worried look

He didn't look at me he just got up sitting the picture back up and walking in the bedroom

I left him alone and started cleaning up the house

Bill walked back in

"I'm so sorry" He walked over to me
"I didn't know what happened and I had to do something because tom was in the middle" He breathed out

I smiled
He wanted to protect his brother

"Your okay" I said still cleaning up

"I need to tell you something me and george and gustav decided on awhile ago" He said softly
"Hm?" I reply not looking at him
"We need to finish tour but we're gonna go on our own and let tom be able to stay with you" He softly said
"Is tom okay with that" I slightly looked up at him confused
"Yeah we had a conversation about it lex" He said
"It wouldn't be the same without tom would it?" I asked more confused putting some food into the ice box
"Well no but everyone would understand" He let out
"okay" i say turning to him
"When you leaving?" I asked
"Today" he said under his breathe
"Oh wow that's soon" I gave him a surprised look
"Yeah it would be a good time for us to get out of this city for awhile" He smiled
"That's true" I smile back at him walking past him picking plates up
"You sure your gonna be okay?" Bill asked
"Yeah Toms here bill" I reply to him
"You gonna say bye to him?" I ask
"Already did" He said leaning against the wall watching me
"So this is it then" I sigh turning towards him
"It is" He smiles walking towards me wrapping me up in his embrace

I hugged him back for awhile not letting go

after we said our goodbyes he left

That was it for bill and the boys
I wouldn't be seeing them for awhile now

Me and tom needed each other
But I can't help but feel guilty that he's not going with them

I walked back to the room opening the door softly
He was laying in bed with some keychain in his hand

"What's that's?" I softly say walking towards him sitting on the side of him
"A sign" Tom whispered staring at the ceiling
"A sign?" I ask

He didn't say anything and scooted over wanting me to lay with him

I laid down with him
He put his arm out letting me lay my head on his chest
Tom placed his fingers into my hair and kept the keychain in the other hand

I looked over at the chain in his hand that he wouldn't let go of

His knuckles were bruised