𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 / 𝘛𝘖𝘔 𝘒𝘈𝘜𝘓𝘐𝘛𝘡

A talk

I walk through my door stumbling with some guys arms holding me up

"Who the fuck is that?" T questions before looking at me
"Bar" I slurred
"Alright get it" T smiled letting him take me to my room

I laughed as I was being brought into my room and he laid me down closing my door

I blacked out after that falling asleep

----------

Beep beep beep

Was all I heard from my alarm clock

"Shut the fuck up" I said in my tired voice not wanting to move
It wouldn't stop though

"Lexi someone's here to see you" T yelled at me opening my door

Oh fuck why did my head hurt so bad
I held my head hiding under the blankets

"Hey lexi" I heard a whisper coming from my doorway
"Go away i'm not in the mood today" I whispered
"Your gonna need to be because we brought you breakfast" The voice said leaving the room now
"Who the fuck is that" I heard a soft voice say talking to the person next to him

I was still under my covers not wanting to get up
I wanted to sleep

"Get the fuck out" I heard shuffling then yelling next to me
I shot up and look over seeing tom pulling a naked body out from under my covers

I was confused seeing the guy in my bed but what was tom doing

"What are you doing?!" I yelled squinting my eyes to try and see him

He forces the guy to get dressed then starts punching him, pushing him up against the wall not stopping

"Tom" I shout getting up pulling the sheets off from the bed covering myself
"Stop your gonna kill him" I panicked trying to pull him off

He stopped then pushed him out of the room scaring him off
Heidi, T and bill were all standing out by the living room as the commotion was going down

"Get dressed and come eat" Tom said in a low voice not letting anyone else hear him

I breathed out in shock gently
turning back to the bed and grabbing sweat pants and a small t shirt

I walked out with a banging headache looking at everyone at the table waiting for me

Everyone was quite

"why are you even here" I shot at tom sitting down annoyed
"Being considerate sense you arnt eating" He shot back keeping his eyes on his food making me roll my eyes
"considerate my ass don't mean to almost kill a guy I slept with" I replied taking a bite of pancakes

Everyone kept to themselves trying not to get in the middle of our argument

"Then don't sleep with random guys or any guy in that case" He snapped now eyeing me
"Oh fuck sake tom don't sleep with heidi then" I put my fork down looking back at him
"That's what married couples do" He said knowing It would hurt me

I pushed my chair out aggressively and walked away from the table

"Tom really?" Bill said
"Fuck tom" T said as she kept eating

Tom kept his eyes to himself before getting up quickly following me afterwards

"Leave me alone or leave my house" I yelled as he walked in my room
"It was basically our house" He said
"No it's always been mine your just fucking company" I snapped sitting on my bed

He shoved his hands in his pockets before closing my door as he walked in

"Run away with me" He softly said
"What?" I question as if I heard that wrong
"Run away with me" He said softly again not taking his eyes away from mine
"No what the fuck" I snap
"Why we could have the life we want" He shrugs
"You have a wife" I yell again
"Look I kept that a secret because I couldn't lose you. But now I can't live without you" Tom said staying where he was
"You used me" I whispered
"I didn't use you, we had a child together" He replied looking down
"Yeah and you were playing step daddy for someone else so it couldn't of meant that much to you" I say not taking my eyes off of him
"Lexi her dad would kill me if I left her" He walked over to me now
"He's like a mafia boss or something and I can't risk dying and never seeing you again so run away with me baby" He kneeled down looking up at me

His eyes his fucking eyes

"Tom I cant just run off with a guy who has a mafia guy running after him and a wife" I reply
"I'm addicted to you" He whispered
"I'm addicted to you to" I gave him a remorse look trying not to cry
"Heidi knows your all I want even if that's fucked up" Tom said quietly
"I can't be what you want and you need to let me move on" I reply
"So what we just casually see each other at Christmas dinner or thanksgiving dinner and argue?" He ask
"No but there's nothing I can do" I reply to him watching him stand again
"Look I wanna live a life with you and if that means putting my life on the line for you I would lexi" He says shoving his hands in his pockets again
"I'm not gonna watch you be with other guys if i'm around" He sighed
"But I have to watch you leave me for some girl
your like married to?" I asked
"Yes so that I don't get killed lexi" He replied quickly
"No I won't do it so it's me or her" I say sternly
"Run away with me baby" He replied
"That's a crazy idea tom" I huffed getting up now
"It's crazy but you make me crazy, I wanna be with you" He replied under his voice
"Tom how many chances have I gave you" I asked
"Please it could just be me and you and how many kids you wanna have and I wouldn't have to run away anymore" he cupped my face into his hands

I instantly melted into his touch
I lifted my hands up and placed them on his chest

"Where would we go?" I whisper
"Wait what about the band and bill?" I added
"They would understand baby" He says with softening his voice
"Your brother needs you" I say looking up at him
"He would want what makes me happy" He smiles brushing his thumb against my cheek
"What if they find you?" I ask
"They won't that's the reason we could run away or I could stay here with heidi" He gives me remorse eyes
"Just give me time to think on it" I replied to him
"You arnt leaving anything behind if you came" Tom replied letting go of my face then walking back out

He was right but T and bill and gustav and george wouldn't be able to come

I inhaled before walking back out there and sitting down seeing tom eat the rest of his food an bill looked over at me watching me sit

"Everything okay?" He asked softly

running away would mean me and tom wouldn't be able to say goodbyes or tell anyone before leaving

I gave him a small smile and nodded

"Yeah" I reply

I took a couple of bites before looking up as heidi smiled kissing toms cheek making me lose my appetite

I put my fork down an sat back watching everyone else dig in

This might be the last time i'll ever get to be apart of them again