𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 / 𝘛𝘖𝘔 𝘒𝘈𝘜𝘓𝘐𝘛𝘡

wow

I know I should of stayed but I wish I never came into their life's and ruined it
I've been kinda under cover since I left just because i'm not ready to be out and for people to be coming up on me taking pictures or posting me all over the internet or videos

I've received many text and calls from both bill and tom
It's been 2 months

I moved into my cousins apartment after about a week of looking for a place
I thought maybe i should give tom a text back

"Hey do you think I should text tom back" I called from my room
T was cleaning the house
"Maybe if your ready for the conversation of you leaving him after so much trauma bonding" She yelled back

I sighed throwing my phone on the bed
I wanted to cry
I missed him so much and his touch
His cold lip piercing when it was touching my lip when we kissed
His hands that fit my waist perfectly

usually by now I'd see tom with another girl but honestly I havnt seen anything posted from bill or tom

"Look I know you feel like a fucking mess but l think you owe both of them an explanation" T said standing in the doorway
"T I ruined their whole life." I whispered picking at my blanket trying not to focus on how much I wanna see tom

"You always look miserable forcing yourself not to be around them. I think he's the love of your life" T said staying where she was

"What if their better off without me T" I sat up looking over at her
"Toms not lexi. Bill might be able to cope but tom on the other hand isn't coping well and I can tell you that as a fact" She told me

I got up as I teared up walking over to her
I wrapped my arms around her trying not to cry

"He's not gonna move on" She said hugging me back
I pulled away wiping my tears

I'll go over there right now then

"Good idea" She smiled walking out of my room

I shake off trying not to think to much of it
Wait
I don't even know where they live anymore

I can try to go over there maybe it would pay off
I get dressed for the day and head over to the kaulitz house

I pull up seeing the front of the house burnt
But I see a security guard still standing there

I pull over and get out and rush over to him

"miss nice to see you again" The guard gave me a soft smile
"You to" I said giving him a quick smile back
"Have you seen bill or tom?" I question looking frantic
"Actually they just left for the airport" He said making my heart drop
"Airport?" I asked
"Their going back on tour and won't be back for a 3 months but i'll give you a little secret since I know your a good friend of theirs" He said lowering to my level and lowering his voice
"Their going to be staying at the closest hotel when they get back until they find a new place to live" He added