The Cold She-wolf

Chapter Forty-six: what the hell are you afraid of?!

Raf's POV

   The silence in the room almost unnerved me, but I was determined to succeed. I'd already gotten this far, I couldn't give up yet. I'd managed to hide my nervousness by sitting on the bed and crossing my legs, making sure my butt didn't show but exposing enough of my thighs to keep him distracted. Frost remained where he was, ogling my body as if it was the first time he was seeing that amount of skin. I pitied the guy. His boner had grown incredibly large but he was still in a daze and hadn't comprehended it well.

This is leading nowhere.

   "Frost Zane Moonstone," I barked authoritatively, "you either speak or I leave and when I say leave, I mean for good." That was enough to yank him back into reality. As if possessed, he dropped to his knees and intentionally hit his head on the wooden floor.

   "Rafaelia, forgive me," he begged, "I don't know what words to use to appease you, but just know that I am truly sorry for what I did. I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't… okay, I knew I was hurting you but… I… I'm a bastard, I know. A fucking shit ass, I am also aware of that. Still, if you can find a place in your merciful heart to forgive me, then—"

   "Mark me," I blurted out, causing him to raise his head with a puzzled expression on his face. "If you're as sorry as you said, Frost, then mark me and make me yours, it's that easy."

   "No." He deadpanned.

   "No?"

   "Yes, Nerine, no," he repeated, coldly.

   "And why is that?" I snapped, " why is it a no? What's so bad about me that you can't accept it? It's not like I don't have the same hole as other girls do. My boobs are big enough, my ass is perfectly fine, I am not ugly and I have a great personality so fucking tell me why you prefer fucking other sluts over being with me, your mate?!" I screamed in both bitterness and anger.

   "Look, Nerine—"

   "Don't call me that," I snarled, "only my father gets to call me that,"

   "Okay, Raf, I can't be with you, I can't mark you—" anger coursed through my veins and a venomous hiss came out of my mouth. He had no vague reason why he didn't want me, he just wanted the freedom to fuck around and I was done letting him have his way.

   "If you can't mark me, then fucking accept the rejection so I can move on with my life!!!" He took careful steps away from me as the tree house rocked slightly. I was losing my temper but I didn't care. He was still being a jerk after everything. Krystal was right. "You don't have the right to keep me locked up when you don't want me. What am I supposed to do?! Watch you fuck every woman that comes your way?! Sit back and continue bearing the pain of my soulmate cheating on me right to my face?! Or do you expect me to keep waiting for you until you're damn ready to accept our bond!!! Tell me, Frost Moonstone, what the hell do you want from me?!!!"

   "I want to hold you and keep you all to myself but I can't because I'm afraid!!!" He screamed back at him as if it was my fault. That only made me angrier.

   "What the hell are you afraid of?! Being stuck with my pussy for the rest of your life?!"

   "I'm afraid that I'm going to lose you if I mark you!!!" I pursed my lips and stared at him amusedly, but didn't interrupt him. "Loving you is not the problem but hurting you is!" He yelled. "I'm not afraid of loving you, I do love you and that is why I resist touching you because I fear I'll hurt you. Once I mate with you, there's no going back. Hurting you when we weren't official was less painful but…but..but…but…I don't know, my logic is stupid but I'm just scared. I don't want to lose you like I lost mom. I don't want to chase you away with my own hands. I'm confused and afraid and I don't know what is wrong with me. What if after I mate with you I make a mistake that would cost your life or break your heart? What if I ruin both our lives more than I already have? I'm scared of losing you, Raf and that's why it's better not to have you. Still, I can't let you go." He cried. At that point, I didn't know how to react to his confession. Frost has always been the type to cry about things that hurt him. He never hid his emotions when he wanted to. I'd seen him crying a lot but it still made my heart swell to see him shed tears. He was like an infant when he was like that.

   He threw himself on his ass and wailed, tears pouring out of his eyes like a fountain. I could never remain mad at him when he cries. Rubbing the back of my neck with a sigh, I dropped my crossed legs and placed my palms on the bed. "Frost," I spoke gently, like a mother trying to console her wailing son. He looked at me, still wailing. "Haven't you realized that you're already losing me?" That made him pause. "You think you're trying not to hurt me and yet cheat on me constantly? You are already the monster you fear you will become. You make me cry every day, make me wish I was never born every week. Frost, you make me wish I never met you." A pin-drop silence followed the end of my statement and my mind shifted to how I was going to coax him into marking him now he was vulnerable. Frost is like a wounded child after he cries and can be easily manipulated if the right words or action is used. I already knew the action and the words but how to do it was my problem. It was embarrassing.

   "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Raf," he broke into tears again. That was my cue to do it. I took a deep breath and straightened my back. It's now or never. "I'm so sorry," he continued to chant.

   I placed my hands on my knees and allowed the awkward seductive smile I'd been working on to spread on my face. "Zane," I called sweetly, "will you look at me…" I hesitated to say the last word, gulping as my heartbeat accelerated. My goodness! I'm going to die from embarrassment. I threw my head back and groaned. My body was reacting differently, accepting the dirty thoughts I was trying to push away. Wait, I need those dirty thoughts.

Come on, Rafaelia, you can do it.

Be a vixen!

Just like Aida!

   I squeezed my knees hard with my trembling hands, gulping dryly this time. I fixed my seductive smile, lowered my eyelids so that I was looking at him from underneath my eyelashes, and controlled the pitch and octave of my voice. I stretched my legs out a bit, crunching my face as I felt my juice seeping into my dress. "Zane," I called out to the wailing eighteen years old, "will you look over here for…" I gulped, cringing internally. Anything to get the job done. "Will you look over here for mommy?" I did it! I said it! Oh my goodness! I'm going to die!

   I flushed as he raised his face from his palms, confusion written all over his face. I tried my best to maintain the slutty expression on my face, but the inter conflict was bigger than the spasms of liquid dripping out of me. He hasn't even touched me yet. Frost's nose wiggled, and he finally got a whiff of my arousal. As predicted, the blue in his eyes thinned out completely, meaning his wolf was in control. So much better.

   "Zilpher," I called his name this time. A small whimper left his mouth. He got on his knees and hesitated to crawl over to me. My ears felt hot as I drew my legs open, exposing myself to him. "Zilpher, come over here," he didn't hesitate this time. He crawled over to me, his eyes inseparable from my wet and dripping cunt. I pushed myself back, resting my palms on the bed and pushing my weight into my hands. "Do you like it? Your mate's pussy?" He nodded vigorously. "Do you want to taste it?" He nodded vigorously again. My lips twitched into a smirk. "Then go ahead, it's all yours," his head shot upward, his widened eyes gaping at me with surprise. I smiled encouragingly and while internally screaming and visibly blushing, I pushed my body back and hunched my body forward.

   I'd masturbated before. It was hard not to when I had a sexy hunk of a mate like Frost. I'd never done it in front of anyone, except if you'll count the time I got drunk and I fingered myself in front of Aida while weeping and lamenting about how Frost was mean. Still, being drunk came with a certain boldness.

That boldness is what I need.