The Cold She-wolf

Chapter Sixty-three: what seems to be the problem?

Krystal's POV

   Lost, an emotion I've never felt before. I've always known what I wanted to do with myself, I was always aware of everything I was doing and feeling. However, the situation has changed. Ever since I joined Raquelia's school, my life has been a mess of emotions. Never did I ever believe that I would be the pitiful soul sitting at the back of a random place in the castle, unsure of where I was and not even caring as the only thing I could think about was nothing but the conflict raging inside me. I was the pitiful soul sitting at the foot of a Cupid statue with my face buried in my thighs. How truly pathetic.

   I had no control over my mind so it went on and on with questions and troubling facts that I refused to accept. My mind was trying to work out a solution but the same mind refused to accept that solution, causing my mind to repeatedly go blank as to not remember the given answers to the questions and solutions to each. It was truly an unbecoming and pathetic sight.

   My wolf was another problem altogether. Wynter was eerily quiet. She's been my sole confider since she first arrived. It has always been us against the world most times but that being who I believed would treasure me more than anyone else had left me forlorn. Perhaps she was running away like I was, or she was just tired of me. I was tired of myself after all.

Everything started with two idiot boys: Frost and Merlynn.

   "Um… hello? Miss?" I felt even worse realizing that I let someone get close to me without even knowing. What a laughable mistake I am. I grudgingly raised my head from my thighs and looked up at the person. It was a maid. I could tell that effortlessly by her uniform and the badge on her chest. She was the first red-headed person I'd seen so far, and even her eyes and lips were red too. She had rosy cheeks and warm beige skin. Her hair was ruby to be precise, and so were the rest of the red things about her. There was no doubt; she was the prettiest girl I'd seen in this world.

   "I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss," she started nervously. She wasn't dressed like a royal or a rich kid and she already looked this good. I could only imagine what she'd look like if she cleans herself up properly. She'd be trouble, that's for sure. She was a crazy match for Rafaelia, and Rafaelia is the prettiest girl in our school.

Yikes!

   I continued looking at her as she fumbled with the handkerchief in her hands, her face growing redder by the second. She was cute. I sighed and returned my face to my thighs. "No, don't… I…" she paused and breathed in deeply, then released it through her mouth. "You see, Miss," she spoke with more confidence, causing me to raise my face and drop my legs with a bored expression. She continued speaking nevertheless. "I haven't told anyone this but I have the power of emotions; to detect them. The stronger the emotion, the stronger my physical abilities. As much as I like the energy yours is giving, it also saddens me and I can't let it go knowing that it's about love!!!" She spoke vigorously and quite determinedly. "Love isn't something I can turn a blind eye to, especially as it's extremely rare in this kingdom. I know I don't deserve to stand before you, but please, if you'll let me, I can help you…" she continued to ramble and for some reason, I felt calm with her. Maybe it was because I wasn't at my best, or maybe it was just the aurae around her.

   With a small sigh, I interjected into her words. "Okay, help me,"

   "Pardon?" She asked, flustered.

   "I said you can help me, I'll allow it," she stared at me for a good thirty seconds, as if she just heard the most outrageous news in her entire life. "Well?" She gasped and cupped her mouth with tears of joy flowing from her cheeks. Now, I am confused.

   "I'm sorry," she sobbed, dropping her hands, "no one has ever let me help them. This is the part where they yell at me to get lost but you agreed and that makes me so happy. I love hearing other people's problems and solving them. Thank you."

Sure thing, weirdo.

   "May I sit next to you, Miss? My legs can't contain my excitement," I nodded. She carefully sat next to me and smacked her thighs for no reason. "Okay then! What seems to be the problem?"

   "What I am about to tell you is a secret," I said threateningly. She nodded earnestly. "Good. From my world, some of the creatures there have soulmates—"

   "Wait, like two people destined to be together for life?" I nodded positively and she squealed with delight. "That's so awesome! Tell me more!" So I did. I explained the basics to her, leaving our true species out of it. She was super excited about the whole thing which was pretty fascinating to watch. Then I told her about what happened and why I was conflicted. When I finished, she stroked her chin thoughtfully and hummed indifferently. "Your case is pretty easier than I thought," she said.

   "Easy? I'm sitting right here in utter confusion and you call it easy?"

   "Well, it kind of is," she insisted, "it definitely is."

   "How?"

   "From what I understand, you're a cold person and you have never had to deal with emotions and all this drama, so you are like this because you haven't truly accepted all these emotions, especially the fact that you like this guy. You are used to dominating things, taking the reins, and conquering everything in your path, not being conquered. There are exactly two reasons your heart has changed, one being easier to accept than the other. Because you are still afraid of the second, you are subconsciously pushing it away; casting him aside. All of these are happening as a way to make him hate you so you can have a reason to either kill him or leave him. You are in total self-denial, Miss."

   Her words were like elephants on my head, each truth adding more weight to me than I could carry. Jena and Lycia always told me I was good at denying things and making up stuff to cover up the truth. Jena made sure to teach me how to avoid that, but I ended up doing it again. "You have two choices, Miss," she continued, "you either let go of your anger and accept the truth that is before you, or you can let him go now before you end up becoming toxic and hurting the both of you. Miss, you need to remember that whatever decision you make, there is another person who will be hurt by that decision." She bounced to her feet and gave a light curtsey, and without another word, she skipped off merrily, leaving me in my pathetic agony.

   I didn't need to dwell on it much because Lenius walked up to me not more than a few seconds after she skipped off. Lee stared at the back of the girl thoughtfully, as if he was trying to piece together a puzzle. I snapped my fingers to get his attention. "Yo, what are you staring at her like that for?"

   "It's strange," he said absentmindedly, "she carries two aurae; one of a queen and another of something close to a guardian. Not seasonal, but definitely something else." I did notice the aurae, but I didn't ponder much on it because clearly, she wasn't my problem. I rolled my eyes and looked up at the sky to continue thinking about what she said.

   Is it truly right? Can I still let go of Merlynn? Do I even want to let go of him? If I was to accept the truth and embrace it, then I might be creating problems for myself. A lot of things can go wrong, heartbreak being the biggest… no, it wasn't the fear of heartbreak, it was something else, something deeper and painful. Something that felt a lot like… loss! That's it! I was afraid of losing him. There was still a threat to my life, the same threat that took the life of my mother. I didn't want him to face that threat. Merlynn might be strong, but is he strong enough to handle the trouble that I will face? Can I truly accept him?

   "Hey," Lee flicked my forehead, causing me to look up at him again, "stop thinking about whatever you are pondering hard on. I know it has something to do with my nemesis so stop. Instead, wanna go on a trip with me?" I bit my lower lip thoughtfully and would have questioned myself more but just shook my head. I need a bit of excitement to clear my head.

   "Okay, let's do it."