The Cold She-wolf

Chapter Ninety: a bit of her heart

Krystal's POV

   Love can be pretty overwhelming, especially when you're at the receiving end. Perhaps it wasn't, but for me, it was. For something I wasn't used to receiving at such a great amount, it was a big deal and I wasn't mentally prepared for it. Merlin loved me, but his love wasn't this overwhelming. Most of my teachers cared about me, including Jena, Raquelia, and Aaron, but even they knew to conceal their affection when they were next to me. I mean, Aaron and I try to kill each other all the time. I thought it was just the thrill of having someone that could keep up with me, but after meeting Frost and the guys, I realized that I did care about them.

   There were a lot of things their presence in my life was starting to make me realize and learn. I learned that the casual sensation I feel in my chest anytime I'm next to them is a sign that I cared for them and they occupied somewhere in my heart. I always thought I could easily kill Merlin if asked to, but after meeting Frost, I realized that I could kill him but it wasn't a kill that would bring me delight.

   I loved them, I knew that now, but none of them held a candle to what I felt for Merlynn and Frost. The mere thought of losing them was bad for my heart. I've never felt happiness just because someone else was happy. It used to be disgusting to see others so happy, especially when they openly display love and compassion. Now, I couldn't recognize myself anymore. With these two, I was an entirely different person.

   I hurt Merlynn badly, I broke his heart and I could feel his pain. I left his villa at first because it was suffocating, but my body refused to walk past the boundary of his territory. My heart seized every time I tried and cold sweat drenched my forehead. I'd never fought a wall against my body like that. It got so bad my legs became rooted to the ground.

   "Stop hurting yourself and go back, child," the voice of the witch hunter, Altan, resonated softly in my head.

   At that moment, a tear rolled down my cheek. The heart that felt empty suddenly filled with pain. I didn't think twice before turning around and tracing him to the tree where I found his sister screaming the truth to his face. Everything she said was true, Lynn is a living being too and it's not just hard for me, it is hard for him too. I was treating him like a toxic bitch, like he was trash and it shouldn't be so.

   Lynn didn't know, no one knew but I knew who I was, I recovered my memories. I had a being living inside of me, one almost as powerful as Raquelia who escaped her laws and commands. It was a being she couldn't manipulate. He restored my memories. I knew Raquelia knew I remembered because of the last information she sent to my mind. I didn't need to ask questions, I already knew what to do.

   The point is that I knew it wasn't easy for Merlynn after reconnecting to the true source of his affection, but I was still treating him that way. I'm not the only one who had a tragic past. I've probably ruined my first impression with his sister and she'd be wary of me for good. I deserve that.

   I chuckled and sniffed. I thought it still didn't bother me much but the urge to cry consumed me after a few minutes in his arms. I didn't cry, I just felt like it. I pulled away from him a bit and looked up at his face. Lynn looked so elated that it pained my heart even more. How can he be content with being treated like shit? How can he forgive me every time without the anger of his own? I didn't know if I should be pleased or worried for him. Is this a good thing? In a sense, yes, since he's the kind of guy I need. And in a way, it also wasn't fair to him.

I just need to work hard to make sure I don't hurt him further.

   "Ahem, I'm still here," I flinched. I forgot the kid was still there. I stepped away from Lynn and looked at the cute little girl with light brown hair and small blue eyes. She didn't look any bit like Merlynn, but you could tell they were siblings through her scent. She had a trace of Merlynn in her.