Survived Me: a Shatter Me fan-fiction (Warnette)

Chapter 22 - Sweater

⚠️TW⚠️
War
Depression
Self isolation
Talk of death
Talk of violence
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⚠️That's all I can think of for the TW's, there could be more but this is a very deep chapter so feel free to skip this one if you don't like anything to do with war and fighting⚠️
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AARON'S POV:
It's been two months and 6 days since I left 45, I miss Juliette so much. I can't wait to get home and see her.

Today we are infiltrating the rebel group, The RARES (Rebels Against ReEstablishment Sectors), base. It's underground, much like Omega Point, it's in the wester end of 21 and our base is in the eastern end, so we have a long way to go. I am the leader of Group P, there are groups from A-Z.
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We're off, we are on our way to The RARES base. We have a long drive ahead of us, me and the soldiers in my group are in a slightly bigger than usual tank, this tank will keep us moving for around four hours... hopefully.
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JULIETTE'S POV:
I don't know why I'm writing in this journal again, it seems like I'm going back in time. I do not miss writing my sorrows into these pages, but, what has to be done, has to be done.

I'm lonely, so so lonely. Everyone is telling me it alright and that Aaron's going to be okay, but how do they know that. What about that slight chance he won't be. I'm sure that's what a lot of the soldiers family's will have said and thought, but their father or Husband doesn't come home. You can't predict what'll happen in war, I know that. But why does it feel like this time we might not be so lucky.

I don't know what to do, what to think, how to feel. I'm so confused. So lost. I know I need to speak to the other, to keep me sane, but I can't bring myself to do so. It's frustrating.

Maybe I'm over exaggerating but I can't stand the idea that he could die. I can't even think of him getting a tiny cut let alone die. I don't know what I'd do without that gorgeous man.

So yeah, life's been pretty shit,
Juliette

I fold the diary shut before someone walks in, it's Kenji, surprise-surprise. "Hey J, we are going to train, wanna come?" I do want to, but I don't know... you know what fuck it, "yeah sure!" I say and stand up. "You may want to change out of your PJ's" I look down and Kenji is right I'm still in my pajamas! I usher him out the door and I get changed. I tell him I'll meet him in the training quarters.

I walk down to the training room and see everyone standing in a circle. "Hey!" I call. Kenji turns to me and waves me over. "Hey, we are just about to start", he smiles at me and I feel a pang of pain when I see one of Aaron's sweaters laying on a bench. He must of left it there the night before he left. I walk over to it and pick it up, I buddy my face into the black jumper, it still smells like him.
"J don't you think it's best you don't-" he's trying to get the item out of my hands, "No" I shout. "No" I repeat, softly this time, I bury my face into the cloth and close my eyes against it, I sit on the edge of a weight lifting bench.

I miss him

I miss him so much

'Come and get me, please' that's the only sentence the voice keeps saying to me twice or three times a day.

I know I shouldn't be ignoring it but I can't handle that at the minute. I know it's selfish and I know it's cruel but, for once, I don't care.

I'm snapped back to life by Kenji, "J?" He says in a questioning tone. "Yeah.." I mumble, removing my red eyed face from the sweater. "Here" he hands me a letter.

From Aaron

"Wha- when did this come?" J ask standing up, slipping the sweater over my head and snuggling into it. "About half an hour ago, that's why we called you down here, I don't want you to be alone while doing something like this" I give Kenji a small smile of gratitude at what he's said.

I open the letter, inside the same paper as before, this time it read;

Hi love,

I'm sorry I've been away for so long, I truly am. We are going to attack the rebels base on Friday, so that should shorten my time out here. I will be back soon, love.

I miss you more than words can say, your face, your eyes, your voice. I miss all of you. I can not wait so see you again, I'll come back and never leave again.

I'm perfectly safe and well, I hope you are too! Please take care of yourself love. I know this is tough but you need to be strong, then, when I get home, we'll be strong together once again.

I wish I was home with you but I have a duty to fulfill. I love you so so so so so much.

Please send me a letter back, I know last time you didn't have an address to send it to so here:
Sector 21, cabin 19, floor 2
If you send it there it'll get to me.

I'll be back as soon as I can't, I love you so so so much,

Aaron Xx
I fall to the floor sobbing, I can't believe he's okay. He wrote this! This has been in his hands, in two month and a week, this is the first, if you don't found the letter a few days after he arrived, the first thing that proves he's acting okay!

"J, is everything okay?" Kenji asks crouching next to me, looking is concerned. "Yes... yes! He's okay, he's well and uninjured. They've located the rebels base and are going to attack this Friday, he says that he'll be home soon. He gave me an address to write back to him!" I run out the room and bolt up to my office and start writing my letter,

Hello, Aaron

No that's to formal.

Hey,

That's just not personal

Dear my beautiful Aaron,

Cringey and very cheesy, but it'll make him laugh so I think that's the best one. I'm going with that one.

Once I've written it, going through a lot of tears, I walk down to the post box with Kenji.

"So it's a cabin, huh?" Kenji says, looking at the address on the envelope. "I guess so, yeah" to be honest I'm not really listening, all I can focus on is the worry that I won't get a response back. I mean what if he doesn't even get the chance to read it. "J! We're here." Kenji spoke, we are, the mailbox right in front of us. I put the letter through the crack in the red box.

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Word count: 1189