Survived Me: a Shatter Me fan-fiction (Warnette)

Chapter 25 - Spilled Beens

⚠️TW⚠️
Depression
Rage
Talk of war
Trauma
Schizophrenia
Self isolation
Talk of going insane
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JULIETTE'S POV:
It's been a whole month since Aaron's been home from the battle, me and him are in bed together watching a movie. For some reason I can't stop looking at his reflection in the TV, the movie isn't what's capturing my attention. God I missed him so much.
"Hey, love, how were you when I was away, seriously?" He asks with a voice covered with guilt, concern and some form of agony.
"Well, I guess I wasn't doing the best. I don't want to think about it though, your home," I snuggle deeper into his chest, "none of that mattered anymore, it was a month ago".
He sighs. "Love, people have said that you were... depressed. Is that true?"
"Why would they think that? That... no I wasn't, they've got me mixed up with someone else!"
I don't want him to know how shitty I was doing in his absence, because, matter of factly, how I felt doesn't matter. The thing that matters, was and is now, is that we stop this 'RARE' group.
"Sweetheart, please, tell me the truth" he kissed the side of my forehead, just before my temple.
"It doesn't matter, Aaron. That's over, we need to focus on the future, not dwell on the past."
"It matters to me" he breathes, softly.
"Why does Kenji have to be so bad at keeping shit to himself!" I stand up.

Why am I so angry? It's not his fault, he's only trying to make sure I'm okay. I would ask the same if the rollers were switched, anyone would.

"Kenji? How did you know it was Kishimoto?" He asks.
"It's always Kenji, that's who you'd go to, for information about 'how I was doing'. I told him to say nothing, zero, but he just had to spill the freshly cooked, piping hot, beans."

"Calm down Juliette, he's only being a loving boyfriend. Why are you getting so aggravated?"
Well I guess number girl is back.

"My love, I didn't mean to intrude. I was worried." He stands and walks over to hold both my hands to his chest.
"I can't believe he told you, he knows he shouldn't have done that and I know he-" I was cut off by a thumping at the door.

I storm over to it, open it, and see none other than Mr Been spiller himself.
"You in!" I demanded
"What the-" he walks in and I shut the door behind him.
"Kenji, you told him!"
"I'm sorry, princess, I can't not say something, you were really bad. A few people thought you had gone a bit... loopy." He sighs.
"Oh for fuck sake! It just gets better! People thought I went insane. The supreme commander of sector 45 gone insane, yeah, like that's not going to reach the reestablishment and it will definitely encourage them to start a war. If they think I'm insane, they think 45 stands without a leader. It's a perfect time for attack. They'd be stupid not to take that chance." I run a stressed hand through my long, brown hair. My breathing becomes uneven and crisp.
"Alright love, it okay. We are more than ready for a war. Everyone is trained, we have the equipment. You have no need to worry." Aaron tries to comfort me.
Tried and failed.
"J, why are you so pissed off over this? Things like this happen on the daily and you just take it with a pinch of salt, this isn't the thing that's playing on your mind. It's a distraction so we don't know what's really happening in that brain of yours." Kenji spoke.

Is he right?
I have no idea!

"Sweetheart, is this true?" Aaron looks like he could break, and it's all because of me...
"I'm not... I'm not sure!" I throw my hands in the air. "I have no idea what's happening to me. I did, only a few months ago, fight a war against a whole, decade established, group of men and soldiers." I sneer.

"They're trying to help you, be nice to them. What's going on with you?" Number girl says.

"Just shut up, funny number lady. I've had enough of you!" I shout. I'm done dealing with the 'voice' and no one gives a shit, no one trying to fix it.

So I storm out, again, this time it's of my own accord, and I'm not leaving the grounds. I need space and time alone. To keep the thousands of worries that play on tapes in my head to myself, I need to smash them, shatter them.

I need to shatter them all!
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Word count: 835

(A/N): (Thank you all so much for over 300 reads and 12 votes! That's incredible!

I will be posting more regularly, I've had major writers block!)