Survived Me: a Shatter Me fan-fiction (Warnette)

Chapter 45 - Hush

⚠️TW⚠️
Being drugged
Mention of torture
Mention of illness
Sickness
Stress
Anxiety
Panic
Panic attack
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JULIETTE'S POV:
I can't believe they won't tell me. Why? What is so bad that they think it's best to hide the truth from me. It honestly scares me.

It's midday, I am clueless on what is happening or what the situation might be, why everyone is in such a panic. No one will tell me, no matter how much I ask, beg, even.

So that leaves me here, in me and Aaron's room on base, in bed 'resting' and 'healing'. I have nothing to do. Aaron and everyone else are busy with work on base, but me, I'm not busy at all.
They won't let me work, when I say they I mean Aaron. He is worried about me, I understand why, but I'm not going to fall apart if I do some paperwork.

Over the time I've spent doing nothing I have found a new type of anger, frustration. It comes and goes, but when it comes, it takes over.
I know I should tell Aaron about it, but I don't want him to worry, he's already stressed enough as it is, he doesn't need my anger issues on top of that. I suppose I feel like I deserve this pain, I don't know why I feel like this but something is telling me that I should feel like this, I have earned it.
I think I'm going crazy.

"Love?"

My eyes open up and I see Aaron and Kenji standing by the door.

"Huh. Oh, yeah" I reply.
"Are you alright, J?" Kenji asks, I can see the fear in his facial expression.
"Yes, I'm okay. No need to worry."  I chuckle, a nervous, awkward chuckle. I'm pathetic, I'm making it so obvious. Get yourself together Juliette! "I was just thinking, sorry. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine, Sweetheart. We just came to ask you what you'd like for lunch. So, what would you like for lunch?" Aaron smiles, taking a seat next to me.
"Oh," I say. "I'm not hungry."
"Are you sure, J?" Kenji gives me a confused look, he obviously can see something in my face, something that reveals how I feel. "Not about the food, I mean, are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes." I sigh, "I'm sure".

I see an exchange I'm not supposed to see, a look between Aaron and Kenji. It says 'it's happening'.

"What? What was that look?" I panic, I'm thinking the absolute worst. Thoughts that shouldn't happen to anyone, thoughts that scare me to my core. I know that this, what's happening, isn't good. Nothing about this situation screams that something is okay. I just hope that the boys tell me before it's too late.
"No, no, my love, don't panic. It's okay." Aaron grasps my hand, enclosing it in his warm, strong touch. It's calming, so very calming, well it would be in any other situation, but now, in this case, it isn't calming at all. "We have found some evidence that Sebastian has put a drug into your system, it's a type of mood modifying drug."
I let out a stressed laugh.

They didn't think they should tell me! I could have known! Been more prepared!

"Are you serious?" My voice breathless and strangled. "Are you fucking serious?!" They both look at me, confused and scared - like they don't understand why I'm pissed at them. "Are you joking?"
"J?" Kenji questioned. Why is he questioning me? He knows what he's done, what he held back from me, his 'so called' best friend and he didn't tell me I was drugged.
I shift my gaze, it lands on Aaron.

I don't understand how they think it was okay to leave me in the dark about this.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask him directly. "Huh. Didn't you think I should know that I was drugged?!"
I can tell by his face, he knows I'm livid. "Love, we didn't want to worry you."
"Worry me!" I shout, "I've been sitting here thinking I'm going insane, not understanding why I'm feeling like this, and you, both of you, the two people I trust most in the world, have known. All this time, you've known."
They both have their mouths agape, a worried expression on both of their faces. They seem like they are clueless, clueless to why I'm angry.
"We just..." Kenji trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. He didn't know what to say.
"Listen, love." Aaron's voice came into my ears, filling them and therefore making my heart melt a little, that was until I remembered what he'd hidden from me. "You had been unconscious and then, the last few days, you haven't been feeling too good. I didn't want you to worry anymore than you already are. Honestly, I didn't know that you felt the effects yet. I would have told you if I knew." His voice filled with a certain type of sorrow. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know, but I do not regret it, if you'd known we don't know what it could have done to you."

It makes sense, I wouldn't want to tell him either, if it were the other way around. I understand why they didn't speak to me about it, I do, but there is still a ball of anger, a small flame, that burns with rage within me.
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Word count: 910