Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Outer Banks, the Beach July 22nd, 2020 7:13 am
I jogged to the beach where I knew my friends were waiting for me, even though this time it wasn't to surf or hang out like we usually did. I reached them, out of breath, but they didn't reproach me not to be on time, they stayed quiet and so did I. John B was holding the funeral urn in which were our dad's ashes, because this morning, we planned on spreading them into the ocean. Our father loved it more than anything else, so much that at some point everyone started to say that salty water was flowing in his veins.
When the forensic pathologist working at the morgue had told us that it was time for our father's cremation, I had tried so hard to postpone it, because it was just never the right moment. Well, I pretended it wasn't, because I worked almost everyday, because I was already saddened enough, because I was busy, but in reality, I just didn't want to say goodbye to my father forever. Throwing his ashes away meant in a concrete way that I would never be able to be close to him again.
"Janel's here guys," Pope told the others.
They turned around and I smiled softly when I saw them, before making my way next to my brother. "I'm sorry I'm late, I don't have any excuse," I spoke, making them chuckle softly.
"If there's one day we must forgive you, it's today, you're lucky," JJ said, nudging me.
"Yeah, I'm so lucky," I repeated, rolling eyes at him so he'd realise what he had just said.
Kiara sighed obnoxiously as if she was his mother, crossing her arms over her chest while wind blew in her hair, making her look so beautiful (as always). "Do you ever happen to think before you speak JJ?" she argued.
"Guys- let's just focus," Pope tempered.
John B and I nodded before staring at each other and making a few steps towards the water. Our three best friends stayed behind, since it wasn't their dad in the urn and maybe they felt like they needed to give us some space. John B and I had never even imagined spreading our father's ashes without them, it would have been like doing it without-
"Susan! Shit, we can't do this without her," I broke in, stepping away from John B.
"Yes we can, we don't need her, get back here and let's do this please Janel," he tried to remain patient.
I shook my head. "No, John B, let's just do it tomorrow or-" I began.
"What's up?" Kie asked from further away.
John B groaned and our friends walked closer from us so we could hear each other better. I didn't want to do this without Susan, and I didn't even want to do this at all. Accepting to turn my father into ashes had been incredibly painful, but spreading it was so much harder that it was worse than being stabbed in the heart. Tears pecked my eyes and I shook my head, my heart beating faster and faster.
