Finding Myself ✓

Chapter 34: Needs us.

Kwenzokuhle's POV

We get back home and release a sigh of relief. Those tests were hard but I believe I aced them. We are home alone and it feels good to be alone. I'd rather it be quiet like this then to have my parents shout at me. Ever since I sat down and told them everything they have shut me out. I should be lucky I'm still going to school because my dad told me to drop out since I like drugs.

I felt offended by that statement but i know it's the truth. If my mom didn't calm him down that day we would be talking a different story. Dad wanted to kick me out and mom talked to him. She is just as mad as he is and they have every right to be angry at me. I am an embarrassment to the family and i regret everything that happened.

If I could turn back the time I would change everything in a blink of an eye. My therapist told me to not blame myself and stop thinking about I wish I could go back in time because I can't and i never will. I have learnt my lesson and i saw where I'm wrong i just need to learn from my mistakes so we don't have a repeat of events.

I change into sweatpants and a sweatshirt and go downstairs. I go to the kitchen and open the cupboards to look for something to eat. Since I'm too lazy to do anything serious I settle for noodles. This is how my life is going to be like from next year, that's what i heard from my siblings. "Make some for me please." says Kheto and i nod. I make the noodles and once they ready i dish up for the both of us and go to the living room.

Aren't I glad that I'm not writing tomorrow. I can use tomorrow as a time to revise my work and make sure I do one past paper to check if I'm still moving in the right direction. I switch on the TV and catch up on some shows on Showmax.

"Today was a long day mahn." he says and i nod. "At least i ain't attending so I can rest." I say. "When I grow up I want to be like you." I chuckle. "Siyeza iskhathi sakho."(Your time is coming.)  "But grade 11 is hard dawg." "I know. I was lucky I passed with the shit that's going on in my life." "Talk about favoured kids." We laugh.

"But once you get through grade 11 matric will be a breeze. Not too much of a breeze but it's better than grade 11." I say. "I can't wait. Sengikhathele ibanga lesi 11." he says and we laugh. (I'm tired of grade 11.)  "Uyahlanya wena." (You are crazy.)

I hear the door opening and I sigh. I'm not in the mood for any lectures after the long day i had at school so it's best if I see them I go to my room and study. I hear tiny footsteps and i stand up to go check who it is. I see Nonka peaking at the kitchen. "Nangu la." says Nkanyiso and when she sees me she runs. I pick her up and throw her in the air. (Here he is.) "Babomncane!" "Princess. Unjani?" "Good."

She kisses my cheek and i put her down. "I missed you princess." I say. "I missed you too mncane." she says and i chuckle. "Uright?" asks Nkanyiso. "Ngisharp wena." "I'm good. I came to check up on you and Kheto and little miss here had a day off and i thought I should bring her to you guys." "I love the visit." We walk to the living room and sit down. They exchange greetings with Kheto.

She takes the remote and exits Showmax and changes the channel to the cartoon one. Kids and technology. Nkanyiso chuckles and i roll my eyes. "You taught the child nonsense." I say. "I regret it everyday. We just watch on our phones and let her control the TV." he says. "Siyazbona emhlabeni." He chuckles.

"Still hasn't changed?" he asks. I know what his talking about but I'm going to play dumb. "What hasn't changed?" I ask. "You know what I'm talking about Kwenzo." "It still hasn't. I'm just glad exams have started and i come back earlier so I have time to be alone and not have to worry about a lecture even if it's for four hours." He sighs. "I've tried talking to them." "You didn't have to. It's my mistake and i need to suffer the consequences."