Finding Myself ✓

Chapter 63: End of year trip.

Phiwokuhle's POV

"It's not something I think I would go back to but we shall see as time goes if I ever change my opinion about it." I say. "It's okay. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was forcing you to go to therapy I was just throwing in my suggestion." she says. "It's okay. Now let's start studying." She pecks my lips and forehead and i giggle.

"I can't get over your beauty." she says and i feel my cheeks heat up and I clear my throat. "Thank you. You also beautiful. The most beautiful girl I've ever met besides my cousins." I say and she smiles. "At least I'm at the top of the list." We chuckle. I pull her in for a kiss again and she wraps her arms around my neck while I wrap mines around her waist.

I pull her closer so that our boobs are touching. I bite her bottom lip and she moans. I slide my tongue in her mouth and our tongues fight for dominance and she gives up. I could kiss her the whole day if I have to. I'm not comfortable to have any form of intimacy with her so I'll stick to kissing her like nobodies business until I'm ready. I love being around her she just brings nothing but peace in my life and i love her for that. The calm to my storm.

I think i should write a poem about her. We break from the kiss and she sighs and rests her forehead on mine. "I love it when you take charge." she says and i smile. "And I love it when you let me lead." I say and she laughs. I wish I can take a picture of her in this moment right now. "Okay let's study then before we make out and chill until curfew time." "I wouldn't mind but you right we need to study."

She gets off my lap and i stand up and move to sit by her study desk. She sits on the other chair and we take out our books and start studying. Studying with her is fun I don't know maybe it's because we make out whenever the other gets an answer right but she makes studying easier and more fun. We take a break and sit on the bed.

"Where do you see yourself in five years time?" she asks. "I'm tryna make it to December alive and finished with matric five years seems too far," I answer and she chuckles. "Okay on a serious note. I see myself done with varsity depending on the course I took and during those five years I would have had a side job to take care of myself. Hopefully I would have saved enough money in the end of the five years so I can buy myself a car and small apartment where we can move in together. Wena."

"I see myself done with varsity depending on the course and yeah tryna start a business during those five years so I can take care of myself and i also see you by my side. After five years I have money to contribute in buying the apartment and my own car." she answers. "Once we done with varsity and we've found stable jobs in our career paths we start traveling." I say. "I see that too and i think that's my favourite part." I peck her lips and she smiles.

"You the best thing to ever happen to me." I say. "You the best thing to happen to me too." she says. "Like I'm serious. Being abused your whole life isn't nice. Being told that you are not worthy and being punished for all the little mistakes is not nice. I have never had a normal childhood, that includes my siblings. I think if a person asks me the definition of normal I won't know but I'm starting to learn it now."

I see her wipe away a tear that escaped and i chuckle. "Don't cry cause you going to make me cry." I say and she chuckles. "I'm sorry it's just what you said touched my heart on another level. You've been through a lot yet you still standing here today." she says. "I guess overtime you just numb the pain and stop feeling."

"I love you." she says and i chuckle. "I love you too sthandwa sami." I say and she pulls me in for a hug. (my love.) "How did I get so lucky." "I should be asking myself that question. I'm grateful for you everyday and you the partner I always wished for. I never thought I would be with a girl but in all honesty I wouldn't change it for the world." She smiles.