Finding Myself ✓

Chapter 48: His back.

Phiwokuhle's POV

"Baby please open up for me." says Ayesha. I wipe away the tears using the sleeve of my blazer and i stand up and open the stall. She gets in and locks the door behind her. She pulls me in for a hug and i wrap myself in her embrace. Who knew all I needed was a hug to let the waterfall to come crashing down. I can't stop crying and i cry to the point where I have hiccups. This is low-key embarrassing for me but it feels good to let it all out and not have to carry the burden alone.

"It's okay baby let it all out." she says. This is me crying for all the times I had to pretend like I was okay. For all the times I had to numb the pain because my siblings needed me more. For that time when I wanted to cry because my mom is in the hospital but I couldn't cause I don't like crying in front of people. All the emotions that I have been holding in come crashing down in this moment.

I remove my head from her chest and take some tissue and wipe away the tears and snots. "This is what you needed. All the times that you were hurt and no one was there for you it ends now. I'm here baby and you can always talk to me when you want to. You don't have to pretend like half of the shit that goes on in your life doesn't hurt you." she says.

"It hurts having to relive old memories." I say in between sniffs. "I know but that's the process of healing. You gotta go through the pain all over again to heal." she says. "I'm sorry for messing up your blazer with snots." She chuckles. "It's okay no problem." "Are you sure?" "Positive." I throw the tissue in the toilet and flush it.

She unlocks the door and we walk out. I wash my hands and dry them with paper towel. We walk out and head to class. "Do my eyes look swollen?" I ask. " Yes just a little bit but it isn't that noticeable unless you look closely." she answers and i nod. "Will you be okay?" "Yes I will be don't worry. Peck my lips." She pecks my lips multiple times and i giggle.

"Sies." mumbles this boy thats passing by. "Angzwanga." I say. (Come again.) "Sies. You must repent before Jesus comes. Chances of you going to heaven are low as of current." I roll my eyes. "Just keep walking if you have nothing better to say." says Ayesha. "We need to preach the scripture. You are not allowed to date the same gender."

"And let me also give you a nice scripture. Love everyone and your neighbours but if you feel like you are too much of a hater just keep walking. Your opinions are better kept to yourself." I say and he rolls his eyes and walks off. "Homophobic people think that they are better than us." mumbles Ayesha.

"They wish to be us hence all the hating from them." I say and she chuckles. "Lets go to class." she says and pecks my lips one more time and i giggle. We walk to class and get inside and sit down. I can't believe that this guy has the nerve to come and preach the holy scripture. Doesn't the so called bible say that love your neighbours and friends manje bona they want to judge us.

I refuse to be judged by a person that isn't God and has probably committed ten times more sins than I have. We all are equal and some shouldn't act better than others because bona they are heterosexuals. There is a knock on the door and Ms. Mhlongo my therapist walks in. She asks the teacher to talk to me and i stand up and follow her.

She closes the door and we walk to her office. "Are you feeling better now?" she asks. "Yes mam I am. I let it all out in the bathroom." I answer. "I want to give you a little homework." "If it isn't class work turning into homework and then teachers give us more homework there is this." She chuckles. "It will help with our sessions."