Vigilance

Vigilance (Chapter 12)

Word count: 30.2k (I know...)

Pairings: Sam x OC, Jake x Reader

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut.

                     STRANGE HORIZONS: CHICAGO

ONE DAY BEFORE SHOW

HER POV

You

10:40am: Good morning! The interview with 95.5 is at 12:30, so let's meet in the lobby at 11:45.

Sam

10:41am: I'll be there.

Josh

10:45am: Got it

Daniel

10:46am: Thanks

Nothing. Nothing from Jake. Not that you expected it. It had been a week of silence, from both of you really. Keeping true to your word you had kept things strictly professional. Only addressing him in the group text, and only about work. You and Jake hadn't physically spoken since that night, and you didn't know if you ever would. You had essentially left him again. You weren't sure he would ever forgive you. You hoped he understood the position you were in, but every time you'd seen him since, it wasn't understanding written across his face. It was pain. Hurt. Rejection.

But you felt it too. It was just the same for you. Having to choose your career over your personal life, but unfortunately love didn't pay your rent. You loved this job, sure, but you also needed this job. The worst part was that you needed Jake too, but you knew you couldn't have both.

So this is how it was now. Silence. You both knew that it was all or nothing, and you finally reached that nothing point. It was crippling. Thankfully the last few days had been filled with travel and meetings, so there was very little down time to be lost in your feelings. But almost like your saving grace, Elle was back, and you finally had someone you felt like you could confide in. Although you couldn't help but feel bad knowing that you and Sam had continued seeing each other while he was very obviously talking to her again. Was she okay with it? Did she even know? You knew you would have alone time with her today during the interview, and finding Sam to ask him was at the top of your priority list.

You spent much of the next hour primping yourself nervously in the bathroom mirror. It had been like this every time you stepped out of the room lately. Doing your best to hide the dark circles and puffy eyes making a permanent home on your face. Each night you spent alone in the dark hotel bed, crying yourself to sleep seemed worse than the last. You hoped it would get easier, but it didn't. And spending every single day near him made it worse. Seeing him just as torn up as you were was killing you. Both of you.

Giving yourself one last glance in the mirror, you grabbed your purse and your iPad, closing the hotel room door behind you. You made your way to the lobby, meeting up with Josh and Daniel. Checking the time on your phone you waited anxiously for the others to come down, and slowly they did. First Summer, followed by Elle and Sam, and finally Jake. He looked exhausted, fresh out of the shower, dark sunglasses covering his eyes that were probably just as sunken in as yours were. Not that you would know, since he wouldn't look at you.