Saving You

XVIII

P.o.v. Tina:

       When I got home, Nudee and P'Fa were already worried about me. They were waiting for me, but I couldn't hide my red tear stained face and my broken heart so I ran straight to my room, locking myself inside of it. I know they want to help, but I'm not ready yet. I don't want to revisit the memory so soon, maybe not ever, as dramatic as it may sound.

       - P'Tina! - I hear from behind my door. - I'll be waiting here, open the door when you want to talk.

       - Go away Nudee.

       - I'll stay here, just know that you're not alone. Me and P'Fa are here for you!

       - Is she there with you?

       - Not really. She went to buy you ice-cream and comfort food.

       - I don't want it. I don't want to eat!

       - Can you just open the door?

       - No. Go away.

       I didn't hear her moving, and I knew she would never leave me. We've been there for each other since the first time we met. I was there to celebrate her ups and to cry her downs, and she was there for mine. I just can't talk to her right now. I don't want to think about what happened. I don't want to think about Heidi. But even if I try my best, with all my might, my mind still drifts to her. From the moment I first saw her, to our little flirty moments, to when I started getting feelings, because I have feelings, to our talks about the future and then to that fatidic last talk. Tears stream down my face again. My pillow gets wet from all my crying and my head heavy from the energy spent on it. 

       When it finally stops, I'm almost not strong enough to clean my messy face and open the door. As I do so, Nudee falls on her back inside my room, spilling the cup of water she probably got for me all over herself and my bedroom's floor. Why is she like this? Even when I'm suffering she's able to get a smile out of me.

       - Tina! You should have warned me!

       - I'm sorry.

       - Come here! - She quickly got up and strongly hugged me, getting me wet too. - Now we're matching.

       - You're an idiot.

       - Do you want to talk about it?

       - About you being an idiot?

       - No, about what happened.

       - No.

       She led me to my bed and got herself comfortable, pulling me for cuddles. I cuddled the heck out of her while she patted my head and back. Being in the comfort of her body made me think about how comfortable I used to be with Heidi, and I had to cry again. I cried and cried, she didn't mind it. I know she's happy that I let her in. I sniffed some more times as my tears stopped. I only sighed.

       - Can you tell me now what happened?

       - I don't know.

       - Who do I have to fight?

       - No one.

       - Who hurt you then?

       - Heidi.

       - Heidi? - Just her name makes the wound on my heart bleed again. - I thought everything was fine. What happened today?

       - She… we were having fun, but then… then we kissed and she started crying and she told me that she wasn't going to break up with Kevin and that she didn't want to be with me and… she told me to go away and that she didn't even want to be my friend anymore! - I said all this between sobs and heavy breathing.